We now live in a day and age of woman empowerment and how we should be striving to be a better person. In the past few years, I can finally say that I am so happy. I have a perfect life, with the perfect woman. I feel grateful to say that I have found my fairy tale ending. To be honest, if none of this had happened, we would never have found each other. So
But life has not always been so perfect.
I remember the day it all started as if it was yesterday. My phone went off. It was early and way before my shift at work was due to start. We arranged to meet at the back of my work. This would be my first encounter with her. That morning I went into my sleeping parent’s room and said I needed to leave for work early. I was going to buy some paracetamol for a headache before work. This was my first lie told to my parents, and it wasn’t the last.
A year must of arguments and confusion had gone by before I found out the truth. I wasn’t the only girl in her life. Feeling humiliated, I felt hurt. I was still so young, and very nieve, at the age of 19. It is not something you wanna hear at that point, but really a teen, still a child, whether you can legally drink or not. I felt like I was mature enough to hold my own decisions and I was so wrong. Why didn’t I walk away that day?
When you are in a relationship you are covered by a cloud of mist, your world is perfect and they love you no matter what, and it does not matter. But the truth of it is. It was all lies. Not just from her. The family and friends. They were all speaking constant lies for her. But why? other than the fact I was being used and hurt in a triangle of love and lies.
Being brave and carrying on in a love triangle.
It took me years and years to understand where I was. Falling deeper and deeper into a web of lies, lying to myself saying that everything was ok, and I was fine, I wasn’t. I wish I had listened to the words from my own family and friends telling me to get out. I can tell you now when
Ripping off the plaster scared me.
I even went away to work. 2 years in a different part of the country. I admit at first this was my way of getting away, escaping. I was gonna stand on my own 2 feet finally. That didn’t work either. Little did I know, my phone would be my worst enemy for being kept, and still controlled. Instead, we ended up living together, a few years later and it only lasted 9 months. it got worse and worse. Until one day the plaster finally got ripped off, and I was finally away.
Now that time has passed, I am more than honest with myself, I made so many mistakes and told so many lies but it wasn’t my fault. I know that now. I was being controlled. A narcissist. Wow, that’s a strong word but when I looked up the definition it was all there. All the controlling
There were so many things happening that shouldn’t have been. I tried dropping her in it so many times because I thought it would set us free. It wasn’t us that I wanted free though. It was just me.
I hope by me telling my story that it really does inspire someone else. Be different, and do not put up with the shit that another person has no right to inflict on you. You don’t deserve the abuse, to be lied to, cheated on and used for nothing more than money. Not like me.
Mental health is so important, How about reading my post on body image here.