Dealing with emotional abuse? 16 signs you are in a toxic relationship.

Trigger warning: Talking about abuse.
toxic relationship
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This topic is something very close to my heart. Going through emotional abuse in a relationship is something I have experienced. It’s a horrible thing to have to go through and the worst thing is actually realising that your relationship had been abusive. So today I wanted to share the signs that I was missing in a toxic relationship, in the hope that it will inspire strength in someone else.

Realising you are in a toxic relationship can be overwhelming and scary. You may feel trapped.

The harsh truth is this, if your even considering for one minute, you might be in a toxic relationship. The chances are your instinct is right. But you don’t feel sure. You do however feel trapped. I did, when I read a similar kind of post. It was like reading myself except someone else was telling it.

When you are in a relationship, you really don’t expect that the person who says they love you to treat you badly. Sadly, there are relationships where the person does not need to be physically assaulting you to be an abuser. For me, I didn’t know any better. Starting a relationship like this where I was young. I wanted to know better and be right about everything. Ofcourse.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Before we talk about some of the signs of a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship…

At first, the relationship starts out as perfect. They wrap you around their fingers. Create a false sense of happiness in a perfect relationship until they let their halo slip slowly. So a relationship that should be full of happiness, Memories and love is a relationship of depression. Arguments and fear.

Maybe you have had friends or family try to tell you that you are not being treated right. Are you listening to them? I doubt it. I wasn’t. It took me years to actually realise for myself. This wasn’t easy. It was an incredibly difficult time.

Myself, as a shy and I confident young adult, was listening to the lies and allowing myself to be given hope that the future would always be better. But nothing would ever change. Instead, it just got worse …

Need to move on from this post? Try why I blog, here.

Are you in a toxic relationship of emotional abuse?

pink and white flowers on white wall
Photo by Evie Shaffer on Pexels.com

They paint a perfect picture.

When you first get into the relationship they have already painted a perfect picture of their personality. They make out to be all these things you already know they aren’t but there still doing it. Creating an image that things will change and your gonna do this and that together. they’re planning holidays and future times. They make you feel loved and the happy times are so good that they weigh out the bad times.

They start arguments constantly.

How long was it before you had your first argument with your partner? Did you fall out and then wake up to an apology. Was it about something silly? But then a few weeks later again? It’s normal right? Couples argue. However, it keeps happening. And you find yourself constantly in heated moments of arguing. Again they find a way of making it all your fault. So you feel guilty. You hear it from their point of view. They tell you they argue because of how they feel. They shout and scream because they love you and you are hurting them. You don’t know what it is you have done but every time you argue they win.

They have already built up such a connection with you that you want it to last and your trust them, because why wouldn’t you?

You can’t trust what they say to you.

You trust them and then they finally slip up. They’ve been lying to you constantly. After a while you don’t know what to believe.

We all have suspicions at the best of times. But then again they are good at covering there tracks. Or at least they think they are. They have a backup excuse for everything they do.

Humiliates you, either alone or in front of other people.

One minute they tell you that you are everything to them, that your special, that you’re the only real one. The next they go out of their way to make you feel as small as a mouse.

They twist everything around to be everyone else’s fault(including yours), but never their own.

They turned vicious. Shouted. Screamed. Said all kinds of horrible things. Then they blame everything possible for what they did. Or maybe they did something and now that’s your fault too.

You hadn’t done anything. However, that does not matter. You have now been guilted into taking the blame, apologising for their behaviour. You don’t even notice them twist things round sometimes. It happens so much.

Belittles you and trivialises your hopes, dream and accomplishments

When your happy. Building your life. Going for that dream job or just being you. Your successful and they hate it. They try to bring you back down. Trying to break your confidence even more so then it already is.

Tries to control you and your behaviour

Being in a relationship does not mean they control you. But in a relationship filled with emotional abuse comes the aspect of being controlled. It’s not as simple as just being told what you can and can’t do either. They make you feel like you can’t breathe. You no longer feel like you are able to go out and have fun.

toxic relationship
Photo by Ylanite Koppens pexels

Isolates you from friends and family

They tell you they need you, that your selfish and you don’t spend enough time with them. Really you spend too much time with them, but they will do everything that they can to make you distance from your loved ones. It’s hard. You don’t want to be in yet another argument but you want to see your loved ones. Your friends are starting to fade away because your now known as the girl who doesn’t go out. Always having to make an excuse to leave.

They guilt you into staying with them. Or making it so hard to see these people because they are telling you that they should be good enough.

Keeping hold of friends during an abusive relationship is difficult. You are forced into making the wrong decision every time. They slate every single one of your friends. Making you feel like you have no choice but to make excuses on why you cant socialise. You really want to be out and having fun, but it is no longer worth the pain of being shouted at.

Blames you for their problems

Taking the blame for something is never easy, but sometimes we just need to own up. “Hey, Sorry that’s my fault”. Except they can never seem to take the blame, even for the little things. It is never their fault, so they blame you. For everything.

In fact they literally blame everyone else but themselves for everything that is wrong in their life. They do nothing for their own self improvement. They just crush your happiness because they are not happy with themselves.

Is unfaithful to you and becomes emotionally distant or withholds sex to control you.

You may not have read my post, the truth about being in a love triangle.

It was my reality. Being in a relationship with someone who dated someone else at the same time. In one way I will never regret the past because without it I would not be in love with my beautiful Emma. We were both controlled by the same person. Lied too. Kept secret. Being told every excuse under the sun to stop the truth from coming out.

They cheat and then blame you.

Being in a love triangle is a hard, and humiliating position. I wrote a post explaining my experience, here.

toxic relationship
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They pressure you into being tied to them.

They go all out. Treat you. Make amends for their behaviour. Buy you something expensive and suddenly your in debt to them.

They tie you into being in a financial situation, it starts with something small then it goes up. They do it both way rounds. And suddenly you find yourself in a position where you feel trapped. You can’t walk away because you can’t afford to pay the fiance which they made you get.

They use you for money.

Carrying on from that, They have won again. Another guilt trip. You really tried to put your foot down this time but it didn’t work. Guilted into a situation. Guilted into taking out finance because they had already fucked their credit and it would be the only way. Leaving you with tons of debts and money owed left to right and centre. It doesn’t matter to them they are getting everything they want. Even if you have nothing.

So many relationships have been left leaving them with debts and financial issues. You feel used. You know you are being used. But you are stuck. I promise money is not a reason to stay in this relationship. Money is superficial.

Your not as important.

A relationship should be equal. Both people should be able to feel loved. And important.

When they are doing things it’s the most important thing in the world. They make you feel shit, because the things you are into are apparently pointless and have no meaning.

Lacks respect and point out your mistakes or shortcomings

You can’t make a mistake because it will be pointed out and used against you. Even if it’s something like falling asleep at 3am because you get kept awake every night as they constantly harass your phone, even though they are work.

Mental health and self-care are so important for your wellbeing, read my post on why self-care is so important, here.

If you relate to any of these in your relationship…

You may not want to hear it. Because they have so many excuses about why they are the way they are. They have gone through a bad time themselves. Endured abuse and bullying themselves. However, nothing actually justifies there actions. It is not ok to be treated this way, ever.

You are an amazing and wonderful human being and you deserve so much more than what you are receiving.

Love is not this. Breaking away from them would be the best action in your life.

It won’t be easy. They will try and tell you anything to get you back. But you are strong. You can do this.

Block them. And cut all contact. And if you think they may reach out to your loved ones to get to you. Ask them to block them also. Keep records of any interactions made in case. You never know what will happen.

They accuse you of being unfaithful constantly

Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? Are they constantly checking up on you? Asking you to send pictures just to prove where you are?

Accusing you of cheating because you didn’t answer your phone when they rung? Or you have not been able to answer a text message in their timely manner. It should never be like this.

They are normally accusing you because there doing the same thing. They think it will help them justify what they are doing to you.

You try to walk away but they won’t leave you alone until they have you back under there control.

You’ve finally broken. You don’t love them anymore. You’ve realised that it was never real love but they still have control over you because it’s all you’ve got. You don’t know any different. To walk away, had become a fear. You’ve got yourself in to deep and there are excuses you make yourself. I know.

You start to tell yourself you can get through this and it will be ok. Something always stops you walking. They start treating you better. Giving you what you need until they have the upper hand.

I promise you now. The 5 moments of happiness does not change what has been done. Neither does it change, how you have been treated.

toxic relationship
Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric on Pexels.com

Does any of this feel familiar to you?

I should have left this relationship months in. But I let it get worse. I wanted to be in a relationship and it was fear of being alone along with other deceptions that kept me going back. The situation just grew worse and my life became habit. I was miserable and I would never be able to explain why I thought I was doing the right thing in staying in a place so vile. Or how I was convinced to do so many things I did not want too.

If you are in a toxic relationship. I know it’s hard. You are scared to admit the truth. really, You don’t even want it to be the truth. You keep making excuses for their behaviour because you are scared. It’s now your normal. How will you cope afterwards? I promise you you can be happy.

My story may be different to yours but it’s all the same. Abuse is abuse. Life is so short. You deserve to live it happy. You deserve to find someone who will treat you right and be equal with. Just like I did.

I fell in love with my abusers girlfriend. We kept each other strong and finally walked away from a place neither of us wanted to be. I was lucky to have someone support me and make me strong..l

Thank you for taking the time to read this. If You are in a position you would like support with. I am not a councillor but I am always here to be a friend to someone who needs it. It’s never ok to feel alone.

What to remember if you are in a toxic relationship…

Only you can make the decision to walk away, and I know from experience. Walking away is hard. But you are stronger than you think, and you deserve happiness.

It may seem scary but do what’s best for you! You have people who love you and will support you during this difficult time.

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Why we are postponing our wedding due to COVID-19.

I am not going to lie. This post is one that I think I have been avoiding. I almost didn’t really want to admit that this was happening. Who knew that 2020 was gonna be the year to change so many lives? and the concept of postponing our wedding was not something I could have ever imagined for this year.

Coronavirus has affected us all with the new rules of lockdown and social distancing. Businesses have been taking a hard hit. Families have been left feeling torn away from loved ones. Saddened that they can’t hug each other.

Although things are slightly looking up 4 months after the initial lockdown was put into place by the government we really are far from leading our normal day to day lives right now. Almost all of us are at the point where we really don’t have any concept of time or the day of the week.

Both I and Emma started this year full of excitement about the things that were coming our way. In March we moved into our beautiful new house. However, this was then followed 3 days later by the start of the UK lockdown.

We’ve been keeping our self busy making our house a home, check out my first home together post, here.

This year was also the year we were due to get married. Although now as you can tell, this won’t be happening. We were originally due to get married on the 4th of September this year. Although you might be sat there thinking. postponing our wedding is a little hasty, and well you could still get married and have 30 people there, and no reception. I don’t even feel the need to argue this. It is not what we want.

We had held out hope and kept delaying the decision about the wedding for a little while (my choice). However, there is only so much time you can waste before realising you are running out of time.

The truth is we didn’t want to hold onto maybe it would be ok. At present we are nowhere near ready for our wedding day as we still have so much to do. And frankly, we didn’t have time for lockdown, but it is what it is.

Getting engaged was the most amazing surprise, when we went to Disney Land Paris, Read more, here.

I think it’s quite fair that we both would like to enjoy the preparation time up to the wedding and not have to rush everything that we would have had 6 months to do in 2 months. Even our hen do’s have now passed us by. So next year we hope that we get to do this all. Properly, and get to enjoy it.

postponing our wedding
Next year will be a better year.

It’s a hard decision to make putting your dream wedding on hold. At the end of the day, the idea of not being allowed all of our friends and family around us sucked. As well as the reception we were looking forward to is only the tip of the iceberg of why we have had to make this decision.

At the beginning of this year, we were already faced with bad news about our wedding. We had to change our wedding venue due to the closure of Botleigh Grange Hotel. So we already lost £1000 due to the deposit we placed there. So from this to postponing our wedding due to COVID-19 seems like a kick. However, we are staying positive and optimistic for next years new plans!

In the past few months, I have watched the reminders come up on my phone of things we should have been doing towards our wedding. Including wedding dress shopping, bridesmaids dresses, Emma’s outfit, making invitations with my mum, hen nights and so much more.

If it was not for coronavirus we would not be postponing our wedding.

The fact is all of the stuff we should have already done. We didn’t get the opportunity to do any of this due to the coronavirus outbreak. We agreed that what is an extra year to wait, to be able to have our dream day and all.

It has taken me a while to adjust and get my head around things. But I am really starting to look at the bright side now.

We don’t have an exact date yet but we are hoping to hold our wedding a year from the original date. We are taking this as a fresh start with a whole 12 extra months to make our wedding day exactly what we want.

Things probably will not be how they were originally planned, but that’s ok. I have a million new ideas on how it’s going to be bigger and better. My crafty hands are getting put to work straight away as I start to focus on the wedding prep again. (Obviously, I tried to give myself some time to breathe once we originally made the decision that we were going to postpone).

I am going to end this post with a positive, on how happy we are as a couple and one extra year is nothing to wait as I look forward to spending the rest of my life as a Taplin, with my beautiful wife to be. Bring on 2021!

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Love Crafts – A review of Life is a wild ride cross stitch kit.

This post contains gifted items. However all thoughts are my own.

I was absolutely filled with excitement when Sarah from Love Crafts contacted me for a collaboration with the opportunity to take a look at their craft kits.
As a massive lover of a variety of crafts, it is so nice to experience having a go at the different kits there are.

When I was a child I learnt how to cross-stitch. It was one of those things my mum taught me how to do when I was going through all my surgeries on my legs.

Back then my mental health wasn’t very good either. I was going through a time where I wasn’t able to walk whilst I recovered from surgery. So I went through a lot of cross stitch kits.
When lockdown started I decided to start picking up the cross stitch kits I had started a while ago. I hadn’t yet finished these because of a general lack of time and motivation.
Over the past few weeks, I have been posting on my Instagram my progress of this beautiful cross stitch kit!
Finally, I can tell you more about my experience with this kit and what I loved. As talking a bit about cross-stitching crafts positive impacts.

Cross stitch is so good for your positive wellbeing!

A while back I wrote an entire post on why crafting is good for your mental health, here. One of my favourite crafts that I find the best for my mental health and anxiety is cross-stitch. One of the things I absolutely love about cross Stitching is how its such a relaxing and therapeutic hobby. I am completely cross-stitching obsessed recently for that very reason. I really love being able to sit down and chill out for a few hours relaxed with some embroidery things. Stitching is a craft that is so relaxing. I would suggest it to anyone who is having stress or anxiety. This is an amazing method of release. Or of course, anyone that is just bored.

love crafts

So. let’s talk about the Love Crafts life is a wild ride kit that I completed.

The link to this specific kit is here.

One of the things I particularly loved about this kit is complete unique bold style.

One of the first things I really noticed when unpackaging this kit was the threads. The threads in this kit are absolutely lush! the vibrant colours are so bold and really stand out against the Aida. I also noted how soft and silky the threads are. The threads staid smooth the whole time that I was using them. which proves they are a really good standard thread. The silky texture made the threads easy to separate and generally I just felt they looked very neat throughout.

This kit is marked as intermediate. For cross stitchers who are more experienced/confident. However, I feel if you feel confident with counting the squares and stitch spaces, I would say that you would not have any problems completing this kit!

The kit took me a week to complete. Cross stitching for an hour or more every evening.

Its not just the Love Crafts kit I love…

Love Crafts run such a lovely website as well as shop. The Love Crafts website and social media are full of crafting tips and tricks. As well as this they have interviews with some pretty amazing crafters. I definitely suggest adding their blog to your bookmarks list, as I found there website rather inspiring as a crafter!

If you love crafts how about papercraft, check out how to make 3D roses with Cricut, Here.

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Happy 3rd birthday AlexaJade…

Happy Monday guys. I can not believe that it was 3 years ago that I started my blogging journey with AlexaJade.co.uk. They do say time flies when you are having fun. Well for me blogging and life have been a rollercoaster of emotions not just ‘fun’. I have not written a birthday post for my blog before but I was so shocked to realise last month that this year was 3 years of AlexaJade blogging. So this post is just a short message appreciating my blog as well as expressing happy birthday to AlexaJade.

Img src: stock photos

Happy Birthday, AlexaJade.co.uk.

In the past 3 years, I have had so many ups and downs in my life. As I was reminded that my blog birthday was coming up I took some time to look back over my posts.

If you are one of my regular readers you will know how that the last year and a half I have struggled with my health. Meaning I had to leave my job. I thought I was gonna be depressed and have to start a job I didn’t like. However, as I reflect on my health the things that have been going on have encouraged me to really focus on what I want out of life. The actual want to be my own boss is slowly becoming a dream come true.

It is so funny how much life changes and how you grow with your hobbies and passions. Some would say it is impossible! However, the more you work on your passions the further you will get in life! Stop fighting for what you don’t need in life and fight for what you want in life. Oh, and you are never too old to start something new! I hate to hear people using their age as a reason not to step outside of their comfort zone!

Blogging has given me Fabulous new opportunities and a way of thinking as I definitely feel that since I have been blogging my blog has had a positive effect on my mental health!

My top 5 favourite blog posts from the blog yet!

Our Disney trip.
Welcome to our home.
Crafter life – you know you’re a crafter when…
Talking confidence into 2020.
Why I think Cricut is every crafter’s best friend.

So hopefully in a few years time I will have celebrated tons of blog birthday’s and plenty of milestones! I hope you guys are working just as hard on your dreams! don’t let anything stop you! you are amazing.

Have a lovely week guys!

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What exactly is self-care and why do we need it?

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Self-care is something that I try to think about and achieve as much as I humanly can. I am often seeing so many people talking about the importance of self-care that it truly shocks me that some people still do not know what it is or why it is so beneficial to them.

Self-care

What is self-care?

self-care are the actions we do that our for ourselves. When we maintain a good self-care routine, we are achieving it for ourselves. Improving our health, development and well being.

Is there anything that you do that makes you feel good today? Actually forget good. That is such a boring word. If you can sit there and say today my day was, what imaginative word would you use? Mine, my day was unique. My day was unique because only I had this day today for everyone else it was different.

I know how easy it is to become blind to the positives in life, especially when it comes to our mental health. Even when their good things staring at us right in the face, sometimes, for no reason at all. For no fault of our own, we let our anxiety or depression win.  In my previous post, I explained that its ok to be in a down spell which covered a lot more of this, here.

I have recently become addicted to those books, that I suppose fall into the Self-help category at Waterstones! (Not that I actually go to the actual book shop, it is definitely about Amazon Prime buying!) 
I love the quotes and inspiration that you can adopt from these books, sometimes I could be reading a few paragraphs of something, and think crap! this is me! Anxiety overtaking comes naturally to me. It is not just about the words, it will be ok, is not always good enough, and our actions influence everything, especially how we feel. 

Looking after your own mental health isn’t just about how you feel on what day, and it is definitely not about just talking it through, our actions and mindset put together to have a massive impact on our lives on a day to day basis.
These things I class as self-care for me, everyone is different, so although they may not work for you, I hope some of my ideas help someone! 

self-care

Types of self-care

There 8 self-care types and many different things you can do for each particular type.

Physical

Your physical self-care includes your sleeping, your physical health, what your eating and drinking, ways to rest and relax.

emotional

your emotional self-care covers your stresses, your emotional attachments, compassion, kindness etc.

Social

Your social self-care is your communication skills, your connections with overs, positive social media reflection, and your boundaries.

Spiritual

Your spiritual self-care includes the time that you spend alone, meditation & yoga, connections with nature, journaling and sacred spaces.

Personal

Personal self-care is your hobbies, getting to know yourself, your personal identities, and the ability to empower yourself to be yourself.

Space

Spacial self-care is the care you take into looking after your own space. The space you live in. The earth itself, by being sustainable and keeping your personal spaces organise.

Financial

Financial self-care is being able to manage your money correctly so that you’re not getting yourself into financial worries, such as splurging money too much you are surrounded by debt. As well as being able to commit to responsibilities of paying their own bills etc.

Work

Finally, your work self-care is the things that you need in your workplace, the things that help and improve your time management, workspace, learning and to take suitable breaks.

What can I do to achieve it?

There are a variety of different activities you can do to reach your own personal self-care goals. Here are some general ideas…

BUBBLE BATH, BATH BOMBS, CANDLES AND MAYBE A LITTLE WINE!

When it has been a long day, or when your feeling a bit down, or just for no reason at all. It’s more about the giving yourself time to relax, chill, and let any stress, threats or anxiety fade. 

BE CREATIVE

It doesn’t matter what your creativity is, always take the time to actually do it! It could be spending hours with your drawing books, or colouring pad, or something a bit more technical. I literally surround my self by different hobbies and crafty things, I love the feeling of accomplishment for whatever you’ve achieved, is enough. Plus somethings are a great distraction, like colouring! 

How about checking out how to make 3D paper flowers, here.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH COLOUR, BEAUTY, AND YOUR FAVOURITE THINGS

I always say that my favourite colour is glitter, Its shiny and so pretty. It makes me feel content! If it is not glitter, it’s pink, it’s colourful. When you surround yourself with the things you love, you will always find something that will be able to make you happy. 

MAKE YOUR FAVOURITE HOT DRINK, IN YOUR FAVOURITE MUG

I have an obsession with mugs (and believe me this is no exaggeration) but I definitely have my fav, I love using. 

SPEND MORE TIME ON YOURSELF

Spending time on you could be absolutely anything, It could be spending an evening pampering yourself, with Hair treatments and painting your nails, to spending a few hours with your favourite book Giving yourself ‘me time’ is such a vital thing that makes us all feel good. As long as your going something that is making you feel happy, then whatever it is it’s a good thing! 

VISIT YOUR FAVOURITE PLACES

We like to have the Marwell Zoo pass, it is given us the excuse to get out and more active. Plus the excuse to take weekends away to visit other zoo locations included in the price. If it is not a zoo were visiting, its Bournemouth beach. We’ve created so many amazing memories on days just out and relaxing. Make a list of your favourite places and make sure you take every possible opportunity to go!

GET YOURSELF ORGANISED

My anxiety always seems to go out of control when I don’t feel organised enough, whether it is arranging something or just something general. Making lists, adjust your routine, using reminders, sticky notes, and updating my calendar always seems to make me feel better. I would always make this a suggestion when things seem to be manic.

What activities do you do for your general self-care? I would love to hear new suggestions.

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14 ways to say I love you without saying the words.

Valentine’s Day being a few days away now I thought it would be the perfect time to talk about ways we can show affection to are loved ones without using words. Each and every love is unique to that Couple. The way they express love through a variety of ways. Over time, we learn just about everything about that person. how they like their coffee or tea. What their favourite tv show is, where they love to spend the most time, even down to their insecurities.

Sometimes we forget that love comes in so many forms and that not every couple shows their emotions and feelings in the same way. age. I am a verbal person. I like using words to express myself. However, my significant other is not. He is more “action-oriented” when it comes to expressing his feelings. Figuring out which method your partner uses to express him/herself is helpful, but there are many small ways we show our love for each other without actually saying “I love you.”

Love is simply one of the most powerful emotions that we all feel from the minute that our lives start. love begins when we are born and love our parents, one of the many types of love that we will experience in our lives.

What is love to you? An expectation of what you need to find, an expression of how you feel or a fairy tale ending.

The world of love is such a complicated experience that we all go through, and when we find the one the words ‘I love you’ never seem enough.

How can you say I love you without actually saying the words?

There are so many ways to express your feelings and devotion to your partner. I would also say that you can express your feelings to your family and friends in some of these ways too.

Love
I’m lucky to be in love with my best friend

Write a list of the reasons behind your love.

It’s fair enough to be in love. But to explain why it is you are in love with that person is so valuable. Writing a list of exactly what makes your heart race when you see them, and why they matter to you so much. I’d even include the smallest things because sometimes the smallest things are hugely appreciated.

Plan a low key romantic date.

You don’t need to spend hundreds of pounds on fancy. Love is about enjoying the time together with the other person. It really is not about how much is spent. My favourite time is when I and my Emma are sat enjoying a film night together, with our favourite food. It doesn’t even need to be at the cinema.
Fairy lights, Candles, A DVD, popcorn and wine. The perfect ingredients to a romantic night in.

Make a playlist of songs with meaning.

This is like one of the cheesiest things ever, but amazing. Music speaks so much to our emotions and expresses things without needing to say them. So what better then a playlist created especially for them?

Show your love with actions, not words.

Sometimes hearing the words I love you isn’t actually enough. Saying it is one thing but proving your feelings with actions and displays of affection is a completely different ballgame. That feeling of love that rushes to your tummy as they grab you and kiss you for no reason, but that they want too.
For example, the first time Emma went to the shop without me and got me a meal deal exactly what I picked, I knew that the thought was everything. So, I say it, It is true. Actions speak louder than words.

Be the listener that they need.

Nothing speaks love more than listening. Something that may not be important to you is probably a really big deal in their eyes.

Being heard is so important. I would actually say that listening and hearing are slightly different. You listened to there day at work, they had a crap day. But did you hear what was said? The emotions? The feelings? Making them feel like what they are talking about matters means a lot. Feeling unheard can lead to feeling lonely and negative. This could simply ruin a relationship and quickly.

Make a sentiment of love book or box.

I love these and as a scrapbooker, I totally am a sentimental hoarder! Well, What I mean is a hoarder of the sentimental things! Does that make sense? Hm. In my boxes, I keep all the silly things, that aren’t actually silly to me. Tickets from places we have been together. Things like that. You could put whatever in your that reminds you of them. Then take the time to look at it together.

Switch off and be totally there.

We can all admit that our devices really can get in the way of reality in this day and age. Since smartphones and apps were created we spend more time using those, then we do each other. Spend a few hours together with your phones and tablets out of your hands! or even off! Enjoy just the time together without being disturbed!

Pay attention to them.

There’s nothing worse than feeling like your efforts are being wasted and going unnoticed. Ensuring your paying attention shows your love for someone. Just by noticing the little things sometimes, like when they have done something slightly different to normal can go so noticed. Ironically.

Make them your first priority

Whether it’s the beginning of a relationship still in the phase of bonding Or a fully committed relationship where your living together, and Have married. Feeling that persons number one priority is such an amazing feeling, it is unreal.

I once wrote a post about being in a love triangle here. Nobody ever wants to feel second-best in life.

Flirt

The rushing emotions that we feel when the one we love flirts with us are so amazing. Butterflies rushing to our tummies, and let’s be blunt. The automatic horniest feelings. Your excitement, because you are feeling sexy, and loved. Flirting is the most visual way to show your love to another. it doesn’t matter how long you have been together. Every person enjoys a good flirt.

Be willing to compromise.

A true relationship has compromises, and the willingness to compromise. It is not all the time that you are going to agree with your loved ones. By showing the willingness to compromise in different situations shows the ability to understand that person. Compromises can be small or large, but they do make a massive difference in every relationship.

Appreciate them.

To be honest, Appreciating someone is similar to paying attention to them, but also very different.
Have you ever put so much effort in something, that you are so proud of. Then you feel knocked down just by having your efforts ignored. Remember that feeling? Why it upset you? why you didn’t feel like it was fair. Maybe you felt ignored and unworthy. This is the feeling of being unappreciated! And let us be honest, It SUCKS. It is the exact feeling that you are giving to your loved ones when you don’t appreciate them. Something big to think about there, hey?

Leave them happy notes to find

This may be cheesy! You can call me soppy. Being proud to admit that I am a romance lover.

It can’t be helped, I enjoy leaving Emma random notes telling her that I am thinking of her, or little jokes, or even love messages around the house. I even used to leave them in her lunch box. Just something to show my feelings, and make her smile.

Write a list of reasons why you love them.

Get a pen and paper and write a list of as many as you like. Write all the reasons down that makes you feel the way to do. Like the way they smile, the way they do certain things. Etc.
Knowing the reasons why they feel the way they do make those reasons even more special.

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