I have not done a post wrapping up the month in ages now! So I am back with a July 2020 wrapping up of the month. The whole Lockdown really threw me and I wasn’t really sure how to wrap up the months that had all been the same. So although I’ve had the new house to talk about, alongside our lockdown mayhem.
Things are slowly returning to normal life, well the ‘new normal’ life we have had to come to terms with. This year really has not been what we expected it to be. I mean with postponing our wedding until next year, we have been refocusing our minds on different things whilst we sort out our new wedding plans for next year.
July 2020 for us, has been a month of business for us. Between seeing so much more of our friends and family, small celebrations and looking after my little cousin. Dealing with 3-year-old tantrums was definitely an eye-opener this month.
We did a lot of walking!
July has honestly been the month for walking. This month a group of us did a 7.5 mile walk in the New forest, Brockenhurst. The day before we also did a 2.5 mile walk around Manor farm. Oh, it has been challenging. Neither myself or Emma ever complain to be fit, and we find some long walks a challenge. I am so proud of us for the amount of walking we achieved, and it was so nice to be out in the wildlife. We have such beautiful places around us, so it is so nice to explore them whilst getting steps in!
Speaking of beautiful places. this month was my parents 30th anniversary and my Dads birthday, so we did a joint celebration with family BBQ (Social distancing of course). We have the BBQ at Emma’s dad’s new farm around his beautiful lake… It was lovely and we found a maize field on the farm. Which we enjoyed posing in for pictures. As well as running around making each other jump. It was a busy day for us as we headed from one farm to another for parties.
July has got me setting even more goals. Ultimately I would like to take my blog full time, So I am going to start using a bit of space in my monthly round ups to update with you what I have been up too towards my blog. This month has involved a lot of using Canva to make Pinterest pins… A lot of them, but my traffic to the blog has definitely grown since I started this!
Also! I am starting a news letter! so if you would like to have regular updates from me to your inbox! Use my side bar and subscribe! Can’t wait for you to join me there.
This topic is something very close to my heart. Going through emotional abuse in a relationship is something I have experienced. It’s a horrible thing to have to go through and the worst thing is actually realising that your relationship had been abusive. So today I wanted to share the signs that I was missing in a toxic relationship, in the hope that it will inspire strength in someone else.
Realising you are in a toxic relationship can be overwhelming and scary. You may feel trapped.
The harsh truth is this, if your even considering for one minute, you might be in a toxic relationship. The chances are your instinct is right. But you don’t feel sure. You do however feel trapped. I did, when I read a similar kind of post. It was like reading myself except someone else was telling it.
When you are in a relationship, you really don’t expect that the person who says they love you to treat you badly. Sadly, there are relationships where the person does not need to be physically assaulting you to be an abuser. For me, I didn’t know any better. Starting a relationship like this where I was young. I wanted to know better and be right about everything. Ofcourse.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Before we talk about some of the signs of a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship…
At first, the relationship starts out as perfect. They wrap you around their fingers. Create a false sense of happiness in a perfect relationship until they let their halo slip slowly. So a relationship that should be full of happiness, Memories and love is a relationship of depression. Arguments and fear.
Maybe you have had friends or family try to tell you that you are not being treated right. Are you listening to them? I doubt it. I wasn’t. It took me years to actually realise for myself. This wasn’t easy. It was an incredibly difficult time.
Myself, as a shy and I confident young adult, was listening to the lies and allowing myself to be given hope that the future would always be better. But nothing would ever change. Instead, it just got worse …
Need to move on from this post? Try why I blog, here.
Are you in a toxic relationship of emotional abuse?
They paint a perfect picture.
When you first get into the relationship they have already painted a perfect picture of their personality. They make out to be all these things you already know they aren’t but there still doing it. Creating an image that things will change and your gonna do this and that together. they’re planning holidays and future times. They make you feel loved and the happy times are so good that they weigh out the bad times.
They start arguments constantly.
How long was it before you had your first argument with your partner? Did you fall out and then wake up to an apology. Was it about something silly? But then a few weeks later again? It’s normal right? Couples argue. However, it keeps happening. And you find yourself constantly in heated moments of arguing. Again they find a way of making it all your fault. So you feel guilty. You hear it from their point of view. They tell you they argue because of how they feel. They shout and scream because they love you and you are hurting them. You don’t know what it is you have done but every time you argue they win.
They have already built up such a connection with you that you want it to last and your trust them, because why wouldn’t you?
You can’t trust what they say to you.
You trust them and then they finally slip up. They’ve been lying to you constantly. After a while you don’t know what to believe.
We all have suspicions at the best of times. But then again they are good at covering there tracks. Or at least they think they are. They have a backup excuse for everything they do.
Humiliates you, either alone or in front of other people.
One minute they tell you that you are everything to them, that your special, that you’re the only real one. The next they go out of their way to make you feel as small as a mouse.
They twist everything around to be everyone else’s fault(including yours), but never their own.
They turned vicious. Shouted. Screamed. Said all kinds of horrible things. Then they blame everything possible for what they did. Or maybe they did something and now that’s your fault too.
You hadn’t done anything. However, that does not matter. You have now been guilted into taking the blame, apologising for their behaviour. You don’t even notice them twist things round sometimes. It happens so much.
Belittles you and trivialises your hopes, dream and accomplishments
When your happy. Building your life. Going for that dream job or just being you. Your successful and they hate it. They try to bring you back down. Trying to break your confidence even more so then it already is.
Tries to control you and your behaviour
Being in a relationship does not mean they control you. But in a relationship filled with emotional abuse comes the aspect of being controlled. It’s not as simple as just being told what you can and can’t do either. They make you feel like you can’t breathe. You no longer feel like you are able to go out and have fun.
Isolates you from friends and family
They tell you they need you, that your selfish and you don’t spend enough time with them. Really you spend too much time with them, but they will do everything that they can to make you distance from your loved ones. It’s hard. You don’t want to be in yet another argument but you want to see your loved ones. Your friends are starting to fade away because your now known as the girl who doesn’t go out. Always having to make an excuse to leave.
They guilt you into staying with them. Or making it so hard to see these people because they are telling you that they should be good enough.
Keeping hold of friends during an abusive relationship is difficult. You are forced into making the wrong decision every time. They slate every single one of your friends. Making you feel like you have no choice but to make excuses on why you cant socialise. You really want to be out and having fun, but it is no longer worth the pain of being shouted at.
Blames you for their problems
Taking the blame for something is never easy, but sometimes we just need to own up. “Hey, Sorry that’s my fault”. Except they can never seem to take the blame, even for the little things. It is never their fault, so they blame you. For everything.
In fact they literally blame everyone else but themselves for everything that is wrong in their life. They do nothing for their own self improvement. They just crush your happiness because they are not happy with themselves.
Is unfaithful to you and becomes emotionally distant or withholds sex to control you.
You may not have read my post, the truth about being in a love triangle.
It was my reality. Being in a relationship with someone who dated someone else at the same time. In one way I will never regret the past because without it I would not be in love with my beautiful Emma. We were both controlled by the same person. Lied too. Kept secret. Being told every excuse under the sun to stop the truth from coming out.
They cheat and then blame you.
Being in a love triangle is a hard, and humiliating position. I wrote a post explaining my experience, here.
They pressure you into being tied to them.
They go all out. Treat you. Make amends for their behaviour. Buy you something expensive and suddenly your in debt to them.
They tie you into being in a financial situation, it starts with something small then it goes up. They do it both way rounds. And suddenly you find yourself in a position where you feel trapped. You can’t walk away because you can’t afford to pay the fiance which they made you get.
They use you for money.
Carrying on from that, They have won again. Another guilt trip. You really tried to put your foot down this time but it didn’t work. Guilted into a situation. Guilted into taking out finance because they had already fucked their credit and it would be the only way. Leaving you with tons of debts and money owed left to right and centre. It doesn’t matter to them they are getting everything they want. Even if you have nothing.
So many relationships have been left leaving them with debts and financial issues. You feel used. You know you are being used. But you are stuck. I promise money is not a reason to stay in this relationship. Money is superficial.
Your not as important.
A relationship should be equal. Both people should be able to feel loved. And important.
When they are doing things it’s the most important thing in the world. They make you feel shit, because the things you are into are apparently pointless and have no meaning.
Lacks respect and point out your mistakes or shortcomings
You can’t make a mistake because it will be pointed out and used against you. Even if it’s something like falling asleep at 3am because you get kept awake every night as they constantly harass your phone, even though they are work.
Mental health and self-care are so important for your wellbeing, read my post on why self-care is so important, here.
If you relate to any of these in your relationship…
You may not want to hear it. Because they have so many excuses about why they are the way they are. They have gone through a bad time themselves. Endured abuse and bullying themselves. However, nothing actually justifies there actions. It is not ok to be treated this way, ever.
You are an amazing and wonderful human being and you deserve so much more than what you are receiving.
Love is not this. Breaking away from them would be the best action in your life.
It won’t be easy. They will try and tell you anything to get you back. But you are strong. You can do this.
Block them. And cut all contact. And if you think they may reach out to your loved ones to get to you. Ask them to block them also. Keep records of any interactions made in case. You never know what will happen.
They accuse you of being unfaithful constantly
Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? Are they constantly checking up on you? Asking you to send pictures just to prove where you are?
Accusing you of cheating because you didn’t answer your phone when they rung? Or you have not been able to answer a text message in their timely manner. It should never be like this.
They are normally accusing you because there doing the same thing. They think it will help them justify what they are doing to you.
You try to walk away but they won’tleaveyou alone until they have you back under there control.
You’ve finally broken. You don’t love them anymore. You’ve realised that it was never real love but they still have control over you because it’s all you’ve got. You don’t know any different. To walk away, had become a fear. You’ve got yourself in to deep and there are excuses you make yourself. I know.
You start to tell yourself you can get through this and it will be ok. Something always stops you walking. They start treating you better. Giving you what you need until they have the upper hand.
I promise you now. The 5 moments of happiness does not change what has been done. Neither does it change, how you have been treated.
Does any of this feel familiar to you?
I should have left this relationship months in. But I let it get worse. I wanted to be in a relationship and it was fear of being alone along with other deceptions that kept me going back. The situation just grew worse and my life became habit. I was miserable and I would never be able to explain why I thought I was doing the right thing in staying in a place so vile. Or how I was convinced to do so many things I did not want too.
If you are in a toxic relationship. I know it’s hard. You are scared to admit the truth. really, You don’t even want it to be the truth. You keep making excuses for their behaviour because you are scared. It’s now your normal. How will you cope afterwards? I promise you you can be happy.
My story may be different to yours but it’s all the same. Abuse is abuse. Life is so short. You deserve to live it happy. You deserve to find someone who will treat you right and be equal with. Just like I did.
I fell in love with my abusers girlfriend. We kept each other strong and finally walked away from a place neither of us wanted to be. I was lucky to have someone support me and make me strong..l
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If You are in a position you would like support with. I am not a councillor but I am always here to be a friend to someone who needs it. It’s never ok to feel alone.
What to remember if you are in a toxic relationship…
Only you can make the decision to walk away, and I know from experience. Walking away is hard. But you are stronger than you think, and you deserve happiness.
It may seem scary but do what’s best for you! You have people who love you and will support you during this difficult time.
Good evening everyone! I thought I’d jump on and do a bit of a spare of the moment post as today is a special day in this house! our beautiful pup Bella has turned one today. (7 in Doggo years). This pup has made such a difference to our lives since we went and got her in August last year. I still can’t believe that we have had this little girl since she was just 8 weeks old. It still feels like two minutes ago that we were just picking her up, the excitement of taking her straight to the pet store just to get her like everything she would need.
Since we got a pet both myself and Emma have seen an improvement in our mental health, read why here.
She was the size our sky remote, absolutely tiny when we first got her, and although she has grown… I can hardly call her huge, she is still a diddy little thing. Personality-wise! she is AMAZING! she follows Emma around constantly and is just the most loving friendly doggo.
We did treat her like a princess today of course! We took a trip to the range yesterday and brought her some birthday treats, I mean a birthday means presents and cake, right? She is just one of us.
It was so cute giving her the presents and cake this morning. Bella was so excited and loves her little colourful fox!
It has been such a sunny and beautiful today. We’ve been sat in the sun and cooling off in the pool! Bella even went for a birthday paddle. The sun definitely has taken it out of her, as well as us. (So hot and so tired) bless her as she’s knackered curled up next to us at the moment.
Check out what we have been up too in lockdown, here.
I hope everyone is having a positive and safe time in the sun this week! It has been so lush! Just remember social distancing and staying safe, we are not quite out of the woods, yet.
Good morning my lovelies, I hope that you guys have been having a lovely week so far! I have noticed that spirits and positivity seem to be picking up now that we are allowed to have 6 people in the garden/meet at a park as well as a load of other confusing rules, that quite frankly make no sense. Depressingly the weather has been so shitty recently! Which is why I am praying that the weather picks up again! We have no time for rain right now! So I thought it was about time that I talked about life in lockdown, and what this situation has brought us in this house.
Lockdown has been trying so many of us, we’ve had our share of good days and bad. after a few weeks into lockdown, I decided to give a bit of a break from my normal monthly wrap-ups, So as I have not done a monthly update since the Covid-19 started really. Mainly because Lockdown has felt like a constant form of groundhog day. literally. So anyway, I thought it would be nice to share what we have actually been up too during the stay at home and stay safe period.
So what has life in lockdown brung?
Lockdown Street Parties
I feel like life in lockdown has been a blessing to get to know our neighbours so well, and so quickly! When the beautiful human ‘Crazy M‘ started bringing our street together by hosting music and dancing for our weekly Thursday claps, which then developed into street quizzes, bingo and a very drunken VE day picnic party.
(Crazy M has been our lockdown superhero, and I honestly suggest you check our her website, she is now offering virtual parties for kids birthdays and doorstop visits around the Hampshire area).
All of these street gatherings have been so amazing and not only brought us closer to our new neighbours but have also given us something to look forward to every week.
After a conversation with Crazy M one night, Emma also shared that I can sing. So with much persuasion and a bit of anxiety, I was able to sing in front of our street on many Thursday night claps, etc.
I have to give VE day a special mention because this party broke a lot of us! with so much alcohol and so many laughs (Yes at a social distance).
Connecting over FaceTime… A lot!
Personally, I have been making a lot of use of the video call feature on my phone recently. Even forcing my parents into answering a video call over the phone to see their faces. As well as general chats on video calls, we have had group calls with friends for virtual quiz nights! Which have been hilarious! especially when dressing up as an idiot for the video call.
A lot of crafting!
I have been busy finishing old projects and starting plenty of new ones during life in lockdown! I have been spending plenty of time in our craft room fiddling around with varies different projects! The pros of having our craft room are definitely having the assessability to all of our stashes! making it easier to just get things out instead of rummaging through boxes and trying to keep it compact.
I have been doing so many little projects as well as big ones. Ive learnt how to use a sewing machine! and I have some pretty major crafting plans for the next few weeks! so there is definitely more to come!
The bizarre shopping trips.
Well, I certainly did have to give this one a mention. To clarify I am talking about food shopping. Which going to the supermarket is no longer what it used to be! We’ve learnt that on a Tuesday (our shopping day) as we are shopping for 2 people, (Ourselves and Emma’s dad) that it is easier to get up for 8 am, just to avoid that masses of ques and be able to get our shopping over and done with! It is amazing the amount of effort that the stores are putting in place to keep us safe, from clear guards for the shop assistants to the arrows on the floors telling us what way to go. Sadly not everyone is so cautious at this point, and I constantly find myself getting pissed off as someone gets too close!
So many series have been watched.
If you saw my recent post on ‘13 things you need to watch on Netflix‘ you will already know that lockdown has left us watching a lot of Television. Even when we are doing things like me on the laptop, or cross-stitching away, the TV tends to be on. So we have been watching too many series catching up on the things that we have wanted to watch for ages.
I’m also having such fun with watching my childhood shows. I am completely addicted to watching old school programs on Disney+. I mean Hannah Montana, That’s So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, that kinda old school.
Refocusing my business mind.
When lockdown was introduced my online selling business took a pretty massive hit, which of course was unfortunate but very understandable due to the situation. Just like so many others I made the decision to close that businesses whilst this is going on. Also due to the fact that I have illnesses that are high risk and wanted to avoid going out as much as possible.
In the past few weeks I have been refocusing on my business plan and I am launching 2 new businesses. including my photography business ‘AlexaJade Snaps’ and my crafting business of ‘AlexaJade Creates’
It feels rewarding and productive that these are getting in motion finally. They are still in the building process! but I would rather be in that position than putting it off still. My mental health does tend to put me in a damper a lot recently. So I am proud to finally be fighting this.
Life in lockdown is something that so many of us have been struggling with… I have written a list of creative activities here, check them out and try something new!
Focusing on Self-growth.
This year when I posted my 2020 goals, I mentioned how I wanted to focus on my self-love and growth. I have always been the type of person to put myself down for everything possible. I realised I didn’t want to be like that any more and it was about time I realised how worthy I really am! Confidence is a really tricky thing to Master. If you have a natural confident personality then I admire you! but for so many of us, we are learning to fake it till we make it! which is completely fine. I have been taking extra time to focus on the reasons to be positive about myself, which is slowly helping my confidence, motivation and mental health. I have been posting more pictures of myself full length which is something I would always avoid before.
Lockdown may not be completely over, but as things slowly return to ‘the new normal’. Positivity is definitely flowing a lot more right now!
I think so of life right now is just growing acceptance. Acceptance to change and adapting to life in a positive way whilst the world is pretty much upside down.
Thank you beautiful people for reading my little update! Hope you are having a safe time, and our staying strong. I love you all.
Hey guys! and again Happy April!.. not that these last few weeks have been happy for many of us. It feels pretty strange to be doing a round-up this month because it is just such a strange time right now, especially as I have been sharing so much with everyone about the move and coronavirus already. But I am wanting to stick to a routine as much as possible this year! especially when it comes to my blog. So what has been happening in March 2020?
What has been happening in March 2020?
Coronavirus & Lockdown.
Obviously The coronavirus, AKA Covid-19 has been affecting the world in such a dark way this month. A worldwide Pandemic, leaving many countries including the UK in a state of lockdown. So we are all now confined to our homes and should be avoiding all social situations, only leaving the house for essentials. The world is a scary place to be in right now. As our key workers battle to keep us safe and alive.
We are really grateful in this house for our electronic devices where we can video call and virtually see our families and friends. I’ve been calling all my family every day and keeping in touch with them via video call.
If you are feeling bored or lonely and you need support, you can always reach out to me on one of my socials or send me an email!
We moved into our first home!
The biggest thing to happen to us in our relationship yet. We knew the move was coming as the farm we were living on was sadly being sold. I absolutely love our new house! we got the keys to our house on the 20th March 2020. Which will always remain a special date now. Of course, I miss the farm as well. As we have been in lockdown since moving into the house, we have had plenty of time to make it from a house to home.
Unpacking and putting things away didn’t take us too long, we spent long days in the first week searching for all our belongings and giving them homes. We had to be fair had are stuff packed up for so long that we were pretty excited to get our belongings back out of storage.
Bella is settling in really well with the house move as well. She loves lying in the sun in her new garden. She loves it, but definitely missing her grandad and Millie dog. We can tell.
The Craft room.
So Im pretty much guessing that this room is gonna be where I spend a lot of my time! Crafting and using it as an office.
Today I actually spent most of the day painting the frames of our notice boards pink so that they look pretty in the room. The craft room is full of colour, unlike the rest of the house. I can’t wait to show everyone the room when it is complete.
With the coronavirus making it impossible for me to work on my business plans and development right now, I am planning to be spending a lot more time on my blog and its contents in the next few weeks. Including a bit of a blog makeover. As well as beginning to release a completely new project. So watch this space for that one! ♡
Our wedding plans
So obviously with everything that is going on in the world right now, and with no clear idea on how long we will be in lockdown, and social events are cancelled until further notice. We do still have small hope that this will have calmed down by our wedding. We are unable to make a decision on what to do about our date at the moment. We are already missing out on special events that have already been cancelled. such as hen doos. So I am trying to remain positive, and plan ahead with a plan B. If that makes sense. Hopefully we will know more soon.
I am pretty certain, if you are like me anyway, you are pretty fed up of hearing the word Coronavirus right now. No, I don’t mean the beer, I mean the virus.
It is a pretty discussable subject right now. Everywhere you turn. The past few days I have woken up to floods of notifications, Emails, Twitters, Sky news. The lot of them all mentioning Coronavirus.
As you may have seen in my February wrap up post here. we are so excited and anxious to be getting into our new place. For us, this week is moving week. Friday we get the keys to our new home. Saturday we have Hired a truck. Tensions are definitely high with self-isolation being a hot topic of this week. One of the worries is we need our helpers.
There is NO way were be postponing the move. I do not think we can take much more of our belongings being packed away as it is. Personally, we are bored already!
Today we took a trip into a local shopping village. As you all know a lot of people have been ‘panic buying’ so the last 2 weeks we have done our food shopping options have been more than limited. Since we are moving into our own house with no ‘supplies’, we decided to buy a few frozen bits. Wow, what can I really say about the shops? whatever shop you are in is rammed and so busy. People are buying more than normal, and the shops are really struggling to keep up with such high demand.
it’s not just us,
I had a message from my cousin who is in France today. France went into complete lockdown. He was enjoying his last 40 of freedom on the beach near where he stays before he faces 2 weeks locked in the house. They are allowed to only go for food and medicines however, they then need to carry documents explaining why they are out of the house.
My brother with diabetes has been told that although still being employed he now can’t work for 12 weeks. 12 weeks is such a long time to be off work. But being diabetic he is of higher risk of catching the virus where he works.
What actually is Coronavirus?
Coronavirus, also known as COVID-19 is a new illness that the NHS and government have little knowledge at the moment. What they do know is that the coronavirus affects the lungs and airways. The virus is airborne.
What can we do to stay safe?
Self Isolating where possible. avoiding social situations and crowded areas. cleaning your hands with soap and water thoroughly. (sing happy birthday in your head).
Always wash your hands when you get home from being out. You can use hand sanitiser when there is no soap available. However, the most effective method of killing bacteria.
Try to avoid close contact with people who have symptoms of coronavirus.
Unless truly unavoidable don’t travel on public transport.
Work from home where possible.
Disinfect shared objects and surfaces.
Keep your hands away from your eyes, nose and mouth.
Use the phone to contact your GP or 111 for advice, avoiding the doctor surgeries and hospitals where possible.
If you think that you have contracted symptoms connected to Coronavirus (symptoms that are new) then you are required to self isolate. Guidelines from the NHS I have linked below.
The affects of Coronavirus
We all know that this virus has affected the world in so many different ways. People are terrified. Terrified of getting ill, or losing their loved ones to this nasty illness.
The panic of being isolated, and that shops and business closing. So many are panic buying. The shelves in the stores are as empty as anything. People are now running out of their general supplies and finding that everything in the shop has been brought out.
I think that it is amazing that some stores are now introducing hours where elderly, are now being allowed their own time to shop so that they are able to get what they need. Without being overcrowded and have an actual chance of buying essentials. Soap, Anti bac gel, dried foods, tins, and toilet roll. These are the main items that none of us can find on the shelves right now. making this situation even scarier. If you are thinking of panic buying! please of others who may be vulnerable and in need.
Many of our friends and family are aware that the schools may be shut as of Friday. To think how much this is going to affect children where they are sitting important exams in the upcoming weeks. Will they even be able to take their exams?. Plus the poor parents are also going to be stranded in a house with their children getting bored for weeks?
Business and events will be being cancelled in the upcoming months. Some social locations have already been asked to close. Although some may have the ability to be able to work from their homes, not everyone has this option so will be losing wages. The GOV has set a motion for mortgages etc to be put on hold. However, businesses will still be losing money. Small businesses especially.
Stay positive and support each other
No one is really sure how long this will last, whether it is going to be weeks or months. The virus is scary, it has affected so many around the world. This really is the time that we should all be supporting each other.
Some people are not taking this virus seriously, however, the facts are it affects each and every one of us. People have died. we need to take this seriously. Many have been affected, and many vulnerable. Especially those with an underlying health condition.
Support each other with positive thoughts and acts of kindness. Keep your self busy indoors.
Please keep safe and we’ll during these hard times.
Self-care is something that I try to think about and achieve as much as I humanly can. I am often seeing so many people talking about the importance of self-care that it truly shocks me that some people still do not know what it is or why it is so beneficial to them.
What is self-care?
self-care are the actions we do that our for ourselves. When we maintain a good self-care routine, we are achieving it for ourselves. Improving our health, development and well being.
Is there anything that you do that makes you feel good today? Actually forget good. That is such a boring word. If you can sit there and say today my day was, what imaginative word would you use? Mine, my day was unique. My day was unique because only I had this day today for everyone else it was different.
I know how easy it is to become blind to the positives in life, especially when it comes to our mental health. Even when their good things staring at us right in the face, sometimes, for no reason at all. For no fault of our own, we let our anxiety or depression win. In my previous post, I explained that its ok to be in a down spell which covered a lot more of this, here.
I have recently become addicted to those books, that I suppose fall into the Self-help category at Waterstones! (Not that I actually go to the actual book shop, it is definitely about Amazon Prime buying!) I love the quotes and inspiration that you can adopt from these books, sometimes I could be reading a few paragraphs of something, and think crap! this is me! Anxiety overtaking comes naturally to me. It is not just about the words, it will be ok, is not always good enough, and our actions influence everything, especially how we feel.
Looking after your own mental health isn’t just about how you feel on what day, and it is definitely not about just talking it through, our actions and mindset put together to have a massive impact on our lives on a day to day basis. These things I class as self-care for me, everyone is different, so although they may not work for you, I hope some of my ideas help someone!
Types of self-care
There 8 self-care types and many different things you can do for each particular type.
Your physical self-care includes your sleeping, your physical health, what your eating and drinking, ways to rest and relax.
your emotional self-care covers your stresses, your emotional attachments, compassion, kindness etc.
Your social self-care is your communication skills, your connections with overs, positive social media reflection, and your boundaries.
Your spiritual self-care includes the time that you spend alone, meditation & yoga, connections with nature, journaling and sacred spaces.
Personal self-care is your hobbies, getting to know yourself, your personal identities, and the ability to empower yourself to be yourself.
Spacial self-care is the care you take into looking after your own space. The space you live in. The earth itself, by being sustainable and keeping your personal spaces organise.
Financial self-care is being able to manage your money correctly so that you’re not getting yourself into financial worries, such as splurging money too much you are surrounded by debt. As well as being able to commit to responsibilities of paying their own bills etc.
Finally, your work self-care is the things that you need in your workplace, the things that help and improve your time management, workspace, learning and to take suitable breaks.
What can I do to achieve it?
There are a variety of different activities you can do to reach your own personal self-care goals. Here are some general ideas…
BUBBLE BATH, BATH BOMBS, CANDLES AND MAYBE A LITTLE WINE!
When it has been a long day, or when your feeling a bit down, or just for no reason at all. It’s more about the giving yourself time to relax, chill, and let any stress, threats or anxiety fade.
It doesn’t matter what your creativity is, always take the time to actually do it! It could be spending hours with your drawing books, or colouring pad, or something a bit more technical. I literally surround my self by different hobbies and crafty things, I love the feeling of accomplishment for whatever you’ve achieved, is enough. Plus somethings are a great distraction, like colouring!
How about checking out how to make 3D paper flowers, here.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH COLOUR, BEAUTY, AND YOUR FAVOURITE THINGS
I always say that my favourite colour is glitter, Its shiny and so pretty. It makes me feel content! If it is not glitter, it’s pink, it’s colourful. When you surround yourself with the things you love, you will always find something that will be able to make you happy.
MAKE YOUR FAVOURITE HOT DRINK, IN YOUR FAVOURITE MUG
I have an obsession with mugs (and believe me this is no exaggeration) but I definitely have my fav, I love using.
SPEND MORE TIME ON YOURSELF
Spending time on you could be absolutely anything, It could be spending an evening pampering yourself, with Hair treatments and painting your nails, to spending a few hours with your favourite book Giving yourself ‘me time’ is such a vital thing that makes us all feel good. As long as your going something that is making you feel happy, then whatever it is it’s a good thing!
VISIT YOUR FAVOURITE PLACES
We like to have the Marwell Zoo pass, it is given us the excuse to get out and more active. Plus the excuse to take weekends away to visit other zoo locations included in the price. If it is not a zoo were visiting, its Bournemouth beach. We’ve created so many amazing memories on days just out and relaxing. Make a list of your favourite places and make sure you take every possible opportunity to go!
GET YOURSELF ORGANISED
My anxiety always seems to go out of control when I don’t feel organised enough, whether it is arranging something or just something general. Making lists, adjust your routine, using reminders, sticky notes, and updating my calendar always seems to make me feel better. I would always make this a suggestion when things seem to be manic.
What activities do you do for your general self-care? I would love to hear new suggestions.
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