LGBTQ Pride month – Talking sexuality & equality.

warning: I talk about sex in this post.

Good morning you beautiful human beings. Happy Saturday, Happy weekend, and a very happy pride month to you! The world has been such a scary and dark place in the last few months. From coronavirus to the unjustified killing of George Floyd. There is so much being said in the media at the moment about pride, and the Black lives matter campaign at the moment. The fact is all of this comes under the same umbrella. It does not matter if you are black, white, part of the LGBTQ community or not, you deserve equality.

So since June is Pride moth I really wanted to take the opportunity to talk about equality and my experiences I have faced as part of the LGBTQ community.

Human.Kind – Be Both!

What is Pride month and why do we have it?

Pride month is an LGBTQ Celebration that happens Every year, We celebrate pride in June because this is the month when the Stonewall Riots that took place back in 1969. The riots happened to protest the lack of equality towards members of the LGBTQ community.

At one stage it was illegal to be found in a same-sex relationship or ‘to be gay’, People were forced to keep their feelings secret towards one another a secret. Stonewall riots were held fighting for the human rights of the LGBTQ community. If it wasn’t for those riots happening. we would not be in the position now where we can celebrate love being love, that is a scary world I would not want to live in.

Various pride events are held during this special month all across the world, as a way of recognising the influence LGBTQ community has had on the world.

Love IS Love

LGBTQ

LGBTQ questions! answered 100% honestly.

What do you identify as?

I am a lesbian, simply. However, I have never really have liked to put labels on things like my sexuality. I am very open-minded and confident within my sexuality but honestly. I am a lesbian, and I would only ever be in a relationship with a female. I’m not saying that I have not slept with men, I have but I have never felt the urge to be in a relationship with a man.

How did you discover your sexuality?

I wouldn’t say I discovered my sexuality, does anyone actually discover it more than just know deep down from the start? Maybe, so for me, I feel like I knew always and as I developed into a young adult I explored my sexuality and thoughts more that I actually embraced it.
I’d been experimenting with my sexuality from around the age of 13. However, I was in my college years when I ‘discovered’ the LGBTQ community.

Who was the first person you told?

The first person I told was my cousin, who has always been my best friend. She has been there for everything and always supported me. We constantly get drunk together and chat, and put the world to rights kinda thing.
So one day I had been walking with her to pick her kiddies up from school. I just randomly dropped it into the conversation. I remember her pausing and saying ‘So are you telling me you are gay’ … ‘um yep’.
My cousin was one of the only people at the time that I just didn’t have fear to tell or open up too.

Mental health matters are so important, if you want to check out my latest mental health post, click here.

Describe what it was like coming out,

my experience of coming out was definitely different. Young and impressionable me had been involved with a girl, only for 2 weeks, who just happened to get in trouble with the police. One day I got a phone call requesting I come to the police station to make a statement against her. I arranged a time and date, as it was late.

As I walked down the stairs I realised straight away that I would need to tell my parents, So I tried to explain that my ‘friend’ was in trouble with the police and I needed to make a statement on what had happened. My dad honestly took that the worst. He forced me to ring the officer back up to say I would be coming straight away and off we went…

I was in college at the time, so on the way to the station I pleaded with my dad not to come in the room with me, I was fully capable of making the statement on my own. Well since that was never gonna happen I had to admit that I would have to tell the police that she was my girlfriend for 2 weeks and not friendship as I tried to say.

My dad’s original reaction was confusing as he said “we will deal with that later” and continued on about the police. Nothing got said for ages after.

If you’re out, How did your parents/guardians/friends react when you told them?

I have been very fortunate that most, if not all, my friends and family have been very supportive of me and my sexuality.
Previously I had thought that at times it had been more difficult for my mum to accept, but now that I am older, and see things a lot more clearly from the past recently, I think that it was not about the fact I was with a female or telling her I was gay, but it was who I was with that bothered her. admittedly I always used to think it was just being gay though.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?

The biggest thing to ever annoy me is when someone ask how can the sex be the same without an ‘actual’ penis? UMMMMM. WHAT! Oh my goodness this question bugs me, you do not have to have a penis involved to enjoy sexual intimacy. I like to reply with, ‘Actually, its more intense and my sex is just as good if not better’ Just for the laughs 😉
Just because there is not a penis involved in a relationship does not mean that we are lacking intimacy.
It is all about the connection. What is better than such a deep and meaningful connection?

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What’s your favourite thing about the LGBTQ + community?

One of my favourite things that I have noticed about the LGBTQ community is the sense of acceptance to each other. There is so much love for one another within the community, a natural sense of pride and belonging. to be accepted as who you are and the support others give to each and every person. I wish all humans were the same but not everyone agrees.

Have you ever been to a gay bar?

I’m not actually a very ‘clubby’ person, but I have been to a couple. my favourite being in my home town, The Edge in Southampton. everyone is so happy and confident to be who they are in there, and there is always something going on. Karaoke, dress up and drag queen nights.

Who is your favourite LGBTQ+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?

I am absolutely obsessed with Ellen DeGeneres and I have been forever! She is just such a beautiful human being. The work and kindness that she has done for so many people (and animals) is a genuinely heartwarming fact I can’t think of anyone I know who doesn’t love Ellen. Ellen was known for making gay history as she came out in 1997 from the ‘professional gay closet’ and began fighting for LGBTQ rights. (read Making gay history article, here.)

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

I am in a relationship and it is the most amazing happiest relationship I have been in… (I haven’t actually been in many relationships) Considering my past relationship had been filled with narcism and abuse.

How I and my beautiful Emma met is a really long story. We both were stuck in a miserable situation involving the same person, which brought our relationship so close. We are yet to even argue with each other.
The past few years We have had such an amazing time together. I can’t wait to become her wife. One day, I am planning to post the truth of one day. I could write so much that about the past. For now, I am going to answer this in short here.

The best thing about our relationship is that we were friends first before we fell in love. We have faced so much in our lives together and apart, that has made us who we are. However, I honestly would say is that the past has made us so bloody strong in our relationship. Every day I am filled with a grateful heart for our little family we have together. With our beautiful little pup.

We are due to get married soon. But I will be updating you on that soon.

Want to know more about me? How about reading my 21 things you probably didn’t know about me post, here.

Have you ever faced discrimination?

Sadly discrimination is so expected and I have experienced it more than a few times.

One particular time that I found hilarious was in the car park of Tescos. We were walking back to the car having done our shopping. I was holding Emma’s hand, and we were having a proper giggle at the time. We were walking back to the car we walked past a woman who must have been in her 40s/50s. She gave us the dirtiest look and muttered the word ‘disgusting’ at us as we were walking away.
Actually, I failed to hold my tongue this time.
I decided to clearly say in her earshot, ‘Well if she’s got something to say, come and say it to our face’… Oops!
Of course, the woman maturely reacted with some confrontational behavior, swearing at us and basically looking for a fight. Somehow when leaving we then ended up in a car standoff with us as she swore and screamed god knows what at us from that too.

Your Favourite LGBTQ+ movie or show?

Easy, The L Word. The very first series I had watched that involved the LGBTQ community.
I was absolutely obsessed with Alice, her bubbly personality, and the fact she is beautiful!

The most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about the LGBTQ+ community?

I have heard so many ridiculous ones but the worst one I had actually seen was from a facebook group (Yup I got in to yet another heated debate… apparently I like to voice my opinions when someone is being an idiot)

A discussion thread was opened in a group on facebook (which I am no longer part of). The thread was regarding the recent at the time announcement of Disney pride and the Mickey mouse ear hats in rainbow. I was disgusted to see a group of members saying that it was wrong for pride to be celebrated in a family orientated place, and that children should be shielded from the LGBTQ community until they are old enough to understand it.

It is ridiculous to say that a place as wonderful as Disneyland shouldn’t believe in equality and and diversity. No one should ever be made to feel they do not belong somewhere.

To me this is why we have so many unaccepting people in the world, they weren’t born as homophobic or racist or anything like that, they were taught to be this by people around them. People that would teach them negatively towards others, such as saying that this is not an acceptable way to be. It is BULLSHIT. We should be encouraging our future generations to know that love is love no matter what it looks like! and no adult is rubbing a relationship in a child’s face, being gay is not inappropriate it is a normal relationship just like a straight couple.

The LGBTQ+ slur you hate the most?

I think being called a ‘Dyke’ annoys me only when its been said as an attempt to cause offence but then thats because I just think, of all of the words they could of said, they couldnt of thought of something more origianl???.. Now its just a case of ‘Yep, Im a Dyke… and your point is?’.

End this on something you’d like to tell the world about LGBTQ+ Community.

Sometimes it can be really hard to stop considering everyone else, and what they may think or is someone will change their opinion on you, but honestly, this goes for so many things in life. Be yourself. hiding can cause such long term damage and no one deserves that. If someone doesn’t like who you are then whatever. Your real friends will be there still.

So that is about it…

If you decide to use these questions and answer them as part of your blog, I would love to hear what you answered to them, leave your post link in the comments below.

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What I am changing in 2020.

As we are now over a week into January I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about what I plan to change this 2020.
This year I am not setting any new year resolutions, just life changes that I want to keep too. We all set New Year’s resolutions but after a while, we seem to forget about them and no longer stick to them. This is why I do not want to call the resolutions this year. This year is all about life goals!

My happy planner this year to keep me on track!

Routine.

Last year my health caused my daily routines to make a major hit. In honesty, I completely lost all concept of what a routine even is or should be. One of my main goals right now especially is to get myself in a routine again. The past few days I have been setting my alarm for 9:30 every morning, which is a start since most days I had not been getting up till the afternoon.
Currently, my iPad and iPhone are acting more of a PA then anything else, as I am finally setting constant reminders, events, shared notes with Emma etc. Apparently this method seems to be working most for me, as I have started planning my day hour by hour.

Confidence.

At the beginning of this month, I posted about bringing confidence into 2020. Which as I said there I plan to step out of my comfort this year and become more confident we’re possible.
For me, I know that this is not going to be easy! But I am determined to try.

Learning to love myself for who I am

My self-employment.

Becoming self-employed is a big deal for me this year. I am finally starting to push myself in many ways to get organised, focused and motivated. 2019 left me with way too many months that I didn’t feel motivated at all, I am promising myself that this is not going to be the case this year.

Getting married. 04.09.2020.

Well, this is less of a goal and more of something that is definitely happening this year. With less than 9 months to go till September now and still so much to do. Our wedding is a massive focus of the year! I am so excited. This year I get to become Mrs Taplin to my beautiful fiancé Emma. One of our many exciting adventures this year.

Healthy lifestyle.

Having said about the wedding, this now fits in pretty well. This year I’m taking a particular interest in my health and lifestyle. Having had a bad year health-wise last year, I am hoping that by the wedding I can get myself into better shape then I am now. There are wedding photos to think about of course!

Moving house.

This is a given for us this year as well. This year, probably in the next 6 months I and Emma will be moving into our own place. That’s right, 2020 is a new house and a marriage!
how scary is this right? And so bloody exciting. We started this week, house searching. Already we are overwhelmed with the number of viewings and searching we have planned this week. I am excited and nervous about the challenges me and Emma will face by living on our own!
You will probably see me blogging about this a lot this year. I warn you now :).

Will 2020 be the year for using my camera more.

Now, this is really an ironic ambition for me this year. Honestly, I am a photo obsessed personality. I constantly have my phone out taking photos. Over the past few years though it’s constantly photos on my phone. Not my actual camera, which I spent so much money on.
It really annoys me that I’ve become so lazy when it comes to my DSLR, especially when it’s one of my prize possessions. So I am planning to get it out of its bag every chance I can.

Last but not least. Happiness.

I know that right now I am so lucky! I have an amazingly supportive partner, a wonderful family, a lovely place to live, amazing friends and so many wonderful things that are happening this year. 2020 is going to be a busy and amazing year for both of us.
Unfortunately, I sometimes allow my depression and anxiety to affect me way too much. So this year I want to try and improve by leaving myself happy messages and notes to find. Reminders. Things like that.
It is so easy for any of us, no matter what our situation, to forget how lucky we really are.

So this is my list of what I want to change (and what will be changing) in 2020.
What is it that you would like for your year? I hope you all reach your goals.

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