20 things I’ve learnt in my 20s

So you never guess what next week is. My birthday. I am saying goodbye to my 20s and hello to my 30s. Oh my goodness, Please hold a second whilst I have a Rachel Green moment and refuse to turn the big 30. (that’s a little bit allowed right?)

In the same breath, I am really excited to be doing this post! because it is quite exciting as well to be reflecting on the whole of my 20s in general.

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My 20’s. Oh god, where do I start?

I’ve experienced a lot in the past 10 years when I actually think about it. I guess you don’t notice how much has really happened and changed until you reflect on a bigger scale like this.

I’ve had a variety of jobs, adventures, friendships, and positive experiences. As well of course my fair share of life dramas, masses of hospital trips and tears. Ive fallen in love, gotten engaged, started my own business, weve moved into our own home and planning so many more adventures to come. Yay.

So what have I actually learnt in my 20’s?

Life is way too short.

Life is about living, and we can’t do that unless we’re actually making the effort to live our lives. Do what we want to do in life, set goals, make adventures and create memories.

Instead of waiting till tomorrow, getting on with life and enjoying every minute is exactly the most important thing. Take all the opportunities to make memories and have adventures that you possibly can because no one really knows how much time we actually have to live.

Losing dad has taught me this the most.

Be grateful and appreciate what you have.

If we spend all our time looking for the next thing in life, then we won’t appreciate what we already have. Life is so much more when you appreciate what you have already. Being grateful for who we have in our lives now, appreciating the time we have with them and the feelings and memories they share with us.

Not just people we need to be grateful for, the things we already have. So many of us spend too much time worrying about our next phone, or the clothes in our wardrobe. The latest fashions and trends just take away from the things we already own.

Mistakes happen. But we learn from them.

Sometimes we make the wrong choices in life. Things happen that we didn’t mean to happen, and sometimes we make mistakes.

Mistakes suck, but as humans, it’s only natural that we make a bunch of mistakes in life. I have learnt that it’s OK to make mistakes, as long as we learn from the mistakes that we have made. Learning to accept that we have made a mistake is one thing, but the biggest lesson is of course is the fact we learn from the mistakes we’ve made and how to not make them again.

There is no such thing as normal.

Normal just doesn’t exist.

And if there is such thing as normal. Why would we wanna bore ourselves by being normal?

I admit that I used to say all the time ‘I just want normal’ but the more challenges I have faced, and things that I have experienced, I’ve realised myself, normal just isn’t a thing. My life has been crazy, weird, emotional, dramatic and so much more so far, far from any normal. (if there is one).

Being yourself is the best thing you can do in your life. Everybody is different and special in their own way. No one is the same. People can relate and have similarities but no life will ever be identical.

As much as it’s easy to wish for normal sometimes. It’s about learning what your normal is and embracing your differences and the situations you face.

Everything happens for a reason.

I used to get so annoyed at this one. I still do. Like it doesn’t make sense for certain things to have happened. Mum and dad have always said this though. My dad used to say it the most. Like a constant reminder whenever anything rubbish happened.
In fairness, it is not really what you want to hear when you are upset about something, like getting fired from a job.

We’ve come so far 💕

It really was something I learned when Emma and I started seeing each other. We knew each other before and we were in a situation controlled by someone else. (yep, The love triangle) The truth is if we hadn’t gone through the crap we did and met that person, we wouldn’t have found the love for each other that we did. So if that’s not a reason for something bad happening I do not know what is. We’ve been through so much together, and I wouldn’t change it for the world! I found my soulmate.

It’s important to do what makes you happy.

Why do we spend so much time sticking with things that aren’t making us happy? I have been a culprit of doing this so many times. In the past few years, I really have learnt to fill life with things that make us happy. For example Disney. Both I and Emma are Disney obsessed, We have so much Disney in our home, but that’s what makes us happy. From our latest obsession of collecting Disney Funko Pops to our massive amount of Disney bedding.

It pretty much comes down to fuck what everyone else thinks, I’m doing this because it makes me happy.

You cannot make everyone happy.

Speaking of happiness…

In a perfect world, everybody would be happy all of the time, with no issues, no drama, just positive attitudes and happy vibes all around. However, I think a lot of us can agree that making everyone happy is sometimes a bit too much of a challenge.

Learning to accept that not all situations can mean keeping everyone happy is a pretty big one.

I think it is a learning curve though. like I said before, In an ideal world we could keep everyone happy all the time, but over the years I have learnt that this isn’t always possible!

I doubt ill give up trying though.

Put yourself out there once in a while.

If I have learnt anything in my 20’s it’s to say yes to new opportunities whenever possible.

Not every opportunity will work out for the best. However by saying yes to something different you are potentially opening up doors for new things to be welcomed into your life.

I’m not going to lie. I am incredibly shy. My confidence isn’t always great, either. One thing my 20s has shown me is that if you don’t put yourself out of your comfort zone, you won’t get any closer to where you want to be. Like when I recently did my first craft fair, before I had I was making so many excuses. By grabbing the opportunity and actually putting myself out there. It completely changed how I was doing things and pushed me to start getting further.

when I turned 20, I randomly decided to apply for an outdoor activity centre to work. I spent 2 seasons, living away from home and certainly out of my comfort zone. It’s one of the best things I have ever done.

Not everyone knows what they want to do when they grow up!

I actually feel like this is a pretty important one.

If you asked me even now what I wanna do when I grow up, I would still say I don’t really know. Firstly because I would rather be like peter pan, who never grows up but in seriousness, who actually knows what’s going to happen in 10 years time? yet alone longer.

When it comes to career, mine has been a jumble! I’ve been a cashier, an outdoor activity instructor, a nursery practitioner, a door supervisor, a receptionist and a civil servant before my health changed things, and left me running my own business. I’ve loved and hated all the jobs I have had. One thing is for sure, I have never really had a career plan.

Some people are fortunate enough to know what they want to do and spend their whole lives working towards their plan. Not everyone knows though, and the biggest lesson I have learnt from many many jobs is, it is OK to not have a plan.

If you really want to achieve something, go for it.

I absolutely love goals. Setting them, planning things, getting organised. All of it.

I have learnt over the last few years that if you set your mind to something, and you work towards it, no matter what it is. You can achieve anything. It’s learning to erase the word ‘can’t’ from your vocabulary and changing it to, I may not have done it this time, but I will achieve it when I am ready.

Do things that scare you once in a while.

A couple of years ago I randomly decided I was going to abseil down the spinnaker tower in Portsmouth to raise money for Autism. I don’t know why I randomly decided to do that, I’ve never particularly liked heights, but I’ll never turn down something that uses a bit of adrenaline.

I’m not going to lie to you. I laughed hysterically the whole way down and talked to myself entirely (I’m so relieved my mum didn’t purchase the video)

And somehow, even though I didn’t like it at first, I was working at heights as an outdoor activity instructor.

Talking, helps.

I’ve struggled with my mental health from time to time for years.

Anxiety, depression and PTSD.

I have learnt over time that I need to open up, and I shouldn’t bottle everything up. I find it too easy to keep things to myself at times. I do not like the idea of burdening my issues on other people. Especially when everyone has their own things to deal with. Which Is ironic as I would happily listen to anyone else who needs to let things off their chest.

I find talk therapy a challenge at times, as I am shy in nature! but since I’ve been opening up more, it’s really been helping. So it is true what they say! talking helps.

Kindness goes a long way.

Kindness really does go a long way in this world.

Even the smallest of actions could make a difference to someone. I was always taught to lead by example, and consider how I would feel if I needed help or kindness. I bear this in mind all of the time. I do what I can for others without expecting anything in return and it taught me so much that if I can help someone my kindness can have a wonderful impact.

Cutting toxic people out of your life is ok.

This is the hardest lesson to learn, or well, I definitely found it the hardest to learn. Honestly, it took me years to be able to cut the most toxic person out of my life. However, once I finally managed to do this, the end result was happiness.

Don’t stay in a toxic relationship. whether it is a friendship or romantic relationship. It is absolutely fine to cut a toxic person out of your life, for your own mental well-being.

Love yourself.

Learning to love yourself is a lesson worth learning, one that we continue to learn daily.
the ability to be able to look in the mirror and say ‘’I love this person that is staring back at me”. OK, It’s not always easy but reminding yourself that you love yourself can improve your mindset.

when you stop caring what others think, you gain freedom to be yourself.

When you stop caring about the negative opinions of others it really does improve your mindset.

It doesn’t help that social media has had a massive impact on us when it comes to what others are thinking of us. Sad but true.

Its important you listen to what your body is telling you.

I’m so stubborn at times. I have always been a bit stubborn. I think because I am so often poorly, it makes me even more determined to get on with things, despite what my body is doing.

I have learnt the hard way, that if we ignore our bodies signals to slow down, it can make us ill mentally and physically.

It’s ok to ask for help.

It could be asking for physical help or even asking for the knowledge of someone else, either way, asking for help is ok.

And this is coming from someone who can be extremely stubborn!

asking for help doesn’t show weakness but the ability to work as a team and show acceptance,n to others input. Not everything in life needs to be done alone.

Invest in yourself.

Investing In yourself doesn’t necessarily mean spending money on yourself, although retail therapy is always a win in my eyes.

Investing in yourself is one of the most important things I have learnt, be it time in learning, self-care, or the occasional spend up.

One thing my dad always would say is, don’t skimp on cheap shoes. Your feet are an important feature, they carry you around all day, so why wouldn’t you wear decent shoes. (He would moan when I used to love a £2.50 pair of plimsolls from Primarni!)

Being an adult sucks and no one really wants to grow up.

There I said it. At times being an adult sucks.

Tell me I am wrong. I bet you cant?

Going from my 20s to my 30s, I already can say I would have loved to embrace just a few more years being 20 something, but you can’t slow down time, unfortunately.

I love to say how I would rather be in ‘Disneyland‘ right now, and cant we run away there? In fact, I say it all the bloody time. It’s true that when you are younger you can’t wait to grow up, but when you actually realise the reality of what being an adult is actually like, you suddenly stop wanting to grow up and be a kid again.

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What happened in January 2022.

I know that January is always such a long month, and January 2022 has been no different I can already see this year flying by.

We have had so much going on this month! Feeling overwhelmed is an understatement.

It’s been a really long time since I’ve done a monthly look back, 2021 was not a good blogging year for me, so I’m starting as I mean to go on this year with getting my monthly round-up posts back.

So, where do I start?

So, this is what I got up too in January 2022.

Everybody’s talking about Jamie.

What an amazing way to start 2022. Me and the lovely Demi, went off to watch Jamie at the Mayflower theatre! We somehow managed to get tickets at the last minute. After ages of saying how much I wanted to see the show, and the website showing it being completely sold out. We randomly heard that some seats had become available and my amazing Emma booked a ticket for me! Days before.

The show was absolutely AMAZING!

Layton Williams and Bianca Del Rio, we’re the absolute highlight. I was so excited to be able to watch these 2 legends on the stage. Is anyone else obsessed with Bianca and seen the film, Hurricane Bianca. Cause I feel like I might be the only one at this point?

We Started talking and planning our wedding again.

With so much covid uncertainty, we have been a bit lost when it comes to wedding plans. Then when we lost dad, I didn’t want to talk about the wedding.

But with less than 6 months to go. We’ve had to jump into action and start planning and getting on with everything to do with the big day.

I said YES to the dress.

Oh and yes! I said a massive yes to the dress this month. I only went and managed to find my dream wedding dress.

After being given so much advice when it came to wedding dress shopping and being told to go in with an open mind. I started to believe I wouldn’t get a dress like the one that I did.

But that’s all I’m saying for now! I’m just very happy that I found my dream dress. It’s perfect.

And the bridesmaids have dresses.

We’re cutting it a bit fine with a 14-week order service. But we now have our bridesmaids dresses on order. YAY.

It was absolutely lovely seeing all our girls together, trying dresses on and seeing what they look like.

And much to our surprise. I’m so grateful

The Guinea Pigs kept multiplying.

So we now have had 14 Guinea pigs.

Somehow, we have had 3 unexpected Guinea pregnancies. Bringing us with 10 adorable little pups, from 1 Randy piggy. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to handle keeping them all. But they have all been sexed properly now, separated and will be finding new homes asap. In the meantime though. Cuddles with Guinea pig babies are just the best thing.

Just 3 of the beautiful pups!

We gave up smoking!

We actually gave up smoking on the 27th of December. So it’s officially been over a month since we had a cigarette and I am so proud of us both.

We’ve been using disposable vapes to give up. Which has honestly really helped us not smoke cigarettes.

Although disposable vapes are so in debate, they’ve been working for us. So that is what matters arm. I’d like to get onto a lower nicotine reusable vape soon.

We started slimming world again.

From giving up smoking to another major lifestyle change.

With the wedding around the corner and both of our health being questionable at times. We’ve started SlimmingWorld to lose some weight and get healthier.

In the first week, we both managed to lose 7 and a half pounds. Which was an amazing feeling and kept us really determined to keep going.

It’s weighing day today, so fingers crossed for more off.

We’ve been catching up with friends!

We finally made it to Bath to see our friends after 2 years of not being able to. Which was so lovely!

We saw Troy Hawke

Troy Hawke is a comedian that my dad discovered.

His style is really quirky. With his hilarious knowledge of scrabble points and defined facial expressions.

This was my first time watching a comedian live and watching Troy did not disappoint. I would describe him as quirky. We were in stitches the entire time.

I’ve started working on my goals again.

It’s been months where I have struggled to get myself motivated to do things. Although we did really well with our stall at the Christmas barn my energy still was t what it could be.

The past few weeks with having so much to do alongside day to day things. I’ve managed to break all my goals down to a more manageable size for me. Which has made me relax a lot more. I know that I’m slowly moving forward again. which is something.

Finally, we started collecting Pop heads!

Oh my goodness, I am obsessed.

I absolutely am loving our new growing collection. Funko Pops! more specifically, Disney Funko Pops!

So the love for Disney in our home grows even more. We’ve brought a shelving unit to display our collection on! (you know it’s serious when you need a shelving unit) and it all started with a Stitch and Tinkerbell that my brother had brought us as presents.

All I can say now is bring it on February (especially as it is my birthday month).

Posts from January

With the above being said I’m so pleased to have posted more this month. Well, more than I had been managing.

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Things to do in January that’ll help you all year.

January tends to feel like the longest month every year, doesn’t it? I mean it everyone is pretty much done in and skint from Christmas, the weather makes us want to hide away because it is either dark, gloomy and raining, or it is just bitterly cold and we’d rather stay in and do nothing. Sound familiar?

I literally don’t know many people that can say that their favourite month is January. We’re already half way through and it feels like we should be in February already.

so it got me thinking. What things can we get up too that not only make January feel more productive but also set us up for the rest of the year.

Get your planner year ready.

Does anyone else love that feeling when January has finally come around, so you can officially start using the new planner you’ve had sat waiting!

I’m loving my Winnie the Pooh 2022 diary this year. If you havnt already got your hands on a planner. It’s not too late!

Have a bit of a declutter.

Now the Christmas is out of the way. Now is the perfect time for a bit of decluttering.

This has been my favourite thing to do so far this month! Getting rid of clothes I don’t wear anymore, sorting out the kitchen, clearing out make-up and just generally decluttering where ever I can right now!

Make a list of things your wanting to achieve.

I bloody love lists!

Lists really do keep you organised and in focus, especially if you are a scatterbrain like I 100% am. I literally cannot get anything done without having a continuous to-do list in action!

But lists don’t just have to be the things you need to get on and do. how about a list of things you would like to achieve this year. Like a bucket list.
mid you already have a bucket list done. How about writing a roadmap to get your goals achieved.

Start the year focusing on yourself again.

This is something I realised a couple of days ago. Now is the perfect time to get myself back in focus.

Take some time extra time to look after yourself, whether it is starting to put yourself first after not doing so for a while, giving yourself time to focus on your self-care, or just taking a break! It is so easy to lose focus on yourself sometimes, and we don’t even notice it happens. So getting into the habit of starting focusing on yourself is an amazing thing to do!

Start a new hobby.

You know that hobby that you’ve been dying to try for ages now. The one that you’ve been really determined to start, but you haven’t got round to it yet? Why not make an attempt to get it going! start the year as you mean to go on with your new exciting interest!

Make a new vision board.

I’ve mentioned vision boards a lot in past posts. But January is the perfect time to either finally make yourself the vision board that you’ve been planning to create for ages now or update the vision board you have made with your new goals and ideas.

Plan a few trips.

it is the perfect time to start filling in your dates and planning some outings for the next few months! Grab your calendar, get chatting with your friends and family and book away!

The best thing about planning ahead is having things to look forward to. whether it is booking tickets for an event, or arranging to meet friends for a coffee… or a gin!

Start ticking off your winter bucket list activities.

what is the point of having all these lists if we don’t actually do anything on them?

pick a random doable activity from your list and get to it. It’s something to do.

Do something nice for someone else.

It’s so rewarding to be able to do something for someone else. Wether it’s someone who is in need of a bit of support, a random act of kindness or something as simple as sharing some positivity.

a small act can go a long way.

Do you have any annual things to do in January?

We all get the feeling of January being a fresh start so I’m asking do you have any annual January traditions of things you do to set you up for the rest of the year? Leave a comment below. I would absolutely love to hear them.

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My hopes and ambitions for 2022.

Ambitions

Well, Holy crap. We reached 2022. Happy New year to all you lovely people.

If I am honest It feels weird to say that we were celebrating the new year, we were more just seeing the new year casually this year. Christmas was an emotional time as it was, and although New years eve has never been the biggest deal in my family, this one is just blah. I’m still struggling with the idea I will be spending 2022 without my dad by our sides.

We have all been through so much in the past 2 years. It’s safe to say that we were all hoping that by now Covid would be long gone by now and that we would have adjusted back to normal, well the new normal anyway. Yet we seem to be just as unsure what will happen this year too.

If you read my post last year about new year goals. You may know I’m not the biggest fan of resolutions.
resolutions seem to be something that doesn’t really work for anyone. A lot of us have set resolutions in the past and they barely manage to last a few weeks before becoming a distant memory. So like last year. I’m setting hopes and ambitions for the year 2022.

My ambitions for the year 2022. The big ones and the small ones.

Enjoy all of the moments.

If life has taught me anything in 2021. Life is too short. There is no point worrying about tomorrow when there is still today. For all we know there is no tomorrow, so instead enjoying the moments we have, are my priority this year. especially with so many things happening.

There are a few massive things happening this year as well.

In February, I will be turning 30. (Holy crap). and then in June, despite the fact I have avoided mentioning this since dad, me and Emma will finally be getting married! (we only postponed the date 3 times already because of Covid) So no matter what happens it’s definitely happing this year!

Im hoping to make more time to read.

I have a massive collection of books that I would like to make my way through at the moment, starting with the book by Daisy May Cooper, that Emma got me for Christmas.
reading is so good for your mental well-being and is something I’d love to do to escape reality more. I’m aiming to ditch my phone in the evenings and start escaping reality with a good book instead.

anonymous woman working on laptop in room
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Continue to develop my business and my blog.

2021 left me starting my own business. I’ve started my own business selling my own handmade creations, online and at local craft fairs. Whilst this has been going on, I’ve certainly neglected my blog a massive amount. So my hope is to find and maintain a balance between life, blogging and business.

During the last few months, I couldn’t keep up with what I was selling at fairs, and keep an online store going so my goal in the next few weeks is to get my Etsy store opened, as I have made the decision to join them instead of BigCartel this year.

In the past few weeks, I’ve also done some brainstorming so that I actually have some ideas to work on with the blog and business, and get my motivation actually going again!

Im hoping to become a bit more organised in general.

If I am honest, I have definitely forgotten my own advice when it comes to being organised lately. My organisational skills have been horrendous and I have certainly fallen into the habit of winging everything at the moment.

My aim is to keep myself organised in a way that when I do have my moments with my health and wellbeing where I cant focus and motivate, I have already got things in place as a backup!

And besides! with a wedding to get organised for this year! I am certainly going to need that skill more than ever.

I’m hoping I can continue to challenge myself.

stepping outside of the comfort zone is always challenging. I’ve found that since my health became an issue for me, challenging myself also became a reluctance. I certainly learnt last year with doing my first ever craft stall, that you need to jump into things to be able to get anywhere. so this year I hope to continue to challenge myself and my confidence by saying yes to more opportunities.

Use my actual camera more.

Does anyone else find that they now use their phone as a camera now? I own an amazing DSLR and full photography set up and yet I rarely use my equipment anymore. So this year I’d like to change that.

Finally I hope that 2022 is just a good year.

life’s too short and it is only as good as we make it. What more can I say than that?

do you have anything that you hope to accomplish in 2022? I would love to hear what your hopes and ambitions are for the upcoming year. So leave me a comment below and tell me what you have planned.

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