Why we are postponing our wedding due to COVID-19.

I am not going to lie. This post is one that I think I have been avoiding. I almost didn’t really want to admit that this was happening. Who knew that 2020 was gonna be the year to change so many lives? and the concept of postponing our wedding was not something I could have ever imagined for this year.

Coronavirus has affected us all with the new rules of lockdown and social distancing. Businesses have been taking a hard hit. Families have been left feeling torn away from loved ones. Saddened that they can’t hug each other.

Although things are slightly looking up 4 months after the initial lockdown was put into place by the government we really are far from leading our normal day to day lives right now. Almost all of us are at the point where we really don’t have any concept of time or the day of the week.

Both I and Emma started this year full of excitement about the things that were coming our way. In March we moved into our beautiful new house. However, this was then followed 3 days later by the start of the UK lockdown.

We’ve been keeping our self busy making our house a home, check out my first home together post, here.

This year was also the year we were due to get married. Although now as you can tell, this won’t be happening. We were originally due to get married on the 4th of September this year. Although you might be sat there thinking. postponing our wedding is a little hasty, and well you could still get married and have 30 people there, and no reception. I don’t even feel the need to argue this. It is not what we want.

We had held out hope and kept delaying the decision about the wedding for a little while (my choice). However, there is only so much time you can waste before realising you are running out of time.

The truth is we didn’t want to hold onto maybe it would be ok. At present we are nowhere near ready for our wedding day as we still have so much to do. And frankly, we didn’t have time for lockdown, but it is what it is.

Getting engaged was the most amazing surprise, when we went to Disney Land Paris, Read more, here.

I think it’s quite fair that we both would like to enjoy the preparation time up to the wedding and not have to rush everything that we would have had 6 months to do in 2 months. Even our hen do’s have now passed us by. So next year we hope that we get to do this all. Properly, and get to enjoy it.

postponing our wedding
Next year will be a better year.

It’s a hard decision to make putting your dream wedding on hold. At the end of the day, the idea of not being allowed all of our friends and family around us sucked. As well as the reception we were looking forward to is only the tip of the iceberg of why we have had to make this decision.

At the beginning of this year, we were already faced with bad news about our wedding. We had to change our wedding venue due to the closure of Botleigh Grange Hotel. So we already lost £1000 due to the deposit we placed there. So from this to postponing our wedding due to COVID-19 seems like a kick. However, we are staying positive and optimistic for next years new plans!

In the past few months, I have watched the reminders come up on my phone of things we should have been doing towards our wedding. Including wedding dress shopping, bridesmaids dresses, Emma’s outfit, making invitations with my mum, hen nights and so much more.

If it was not for coronavirus we would not be postponing our wedding.

The fact is all of the stuff we should have already done. We didn’t get the opportunity to do any of this due to the coronavirus outbreak. We agreed that what is an extra year to wait, to be able to have our dream day and all.

It has taken me a while to adjust and get my head around things. But I am really starting to look at the bright side now.

We don’t have an exact date yet but we are hoping to hold our wedding a year from the original date. We are taking this as a fresh start with a whole 12 extra months to make our wedding day exactly what we want.

Things probably will not be how they were originally planned, but that’s ok. I have a million new ideas on how it’s going to be bigger and better. My crafty hands are getting put to work straight away as I start to focus on the wedding prep again. (Obviously, I tried to give myself some time to breathe once we originally made the decision that we were going to postpone).

I am going to end this post with a positive, on how happy we are as a couple and one extra year is nothing to wait as I look forward to spending the rest of my life as a Taplin, with my beautiful wife to be. Bring on 2021!

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my confidence journey – starting a youtube channel.

youtube

At the beginning of this year, I wrote a list of goals of things I wanted to achieve this year moving forward with my online presence and businesses. One of those goals connecting to improving my confidence was to start my very own youtube channel. It seemed like something I would really enjoy as I love to talk! I just had one massive hurdle that I would need to start overcoming. Yep, my confidence.

Read my 2020 goal post, here.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you actually want to start a new project, something like confidence can hold you back so majorly. I have always found that my confidence has been my biggest letdown. So, I know it is about time that I really start pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. I mean no one would ever get anywhere if they didn’t push themselves for reachable goals. without goals we don’t tend to develop with our passions and hustles.

And it has actually been working so far!

Can you actually believe how much a small recording like this has really boosted my confidence this week! I didn’t think it was going to get such amazing feedback from my friends and family as it did. that doesn’t mean that I am not saying it is the perfect video because in no way is it, however, I really have started a journey that I am looking forward to seeing where it takes me. I am also looking forward to learning more about video editing.

Are you a confidence seeker as well? check out my bringing confidence into 2020 post, here.

I hovered over the upload video button for a while. I had recorded my very first youtube channel video on my phone a few days before but the confidence was something I was still struggling with before I could actually upload my little bubble of sunshine.

Here it is… My youtube channel AlexaJade blogs and My first video.

Want to see more videos from me? Hit subscribe on my youtube channel, here.

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What I am changing in 2020.

As we are now over a week into January I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about what I plan to change this 2020.
This year I am not setting any new year resolutions, just life changes that I want to keep too. We all set New Year’s resolutions but after a while, we seem to forget about them and no longer stick to them. This is why I do not want to call the resolutions this year. This year is all about life goals!

My happy planner this year to keep me on track!

Routine.

Last year my health caused my daily routines to make a major hit. In honesty, I completely lost all concept of what a routine even is or should be. One of my main goals right now especially is to get myself in a routine again. The past few days I have been setting my alarm for 9:30 every morning, which is a start since most days I had not been getting up till the afternoon.
Currently, my iPad and iPhone are acting more of a PA then anything else, as I am finally setting constant reminders, events, shared notes with Emma etc. Apparently this method seems to be working most for me, as I have started planning my day hour by hour.

Confidence.

At the beginning of this month, I posted about bringing confidence into 2020. Which as I said there I plan to step out of my comfort this year and become more confident we’re possible.
For me, I know that this is not going to be easy! But I am determined to try.

Learning to love myself for who I am

My self-employment.

Becoming self-employed is a big deal for me this year. I am finally starting to push myself in many ways to get organised, focused and motivated. 2019 left me with way too many months that I didn’t feel motivated at all, I am promising myself that this is not going to be the case this year.

Getting married. 04.09.2020.

Well, this is less of a goal and more of something that is definitely happening this year. With less than 9 months to go till September now and still so much to do. Our wedding is a massive focus of the year! I am so excited. This year I get to become Mrs Taplin to my beautiful fiancé Emma. One of our many exciting adventures this year.

Healthy lifestyle.

Having said about the wedding, this now fits in pretty well. This year I’m taking a particular interest in my health and lifestyle. Having had a bad year health-wise last year, I am hoping that by the wedding I can get myself into better shape then I am now. There are wedding photos to think about of course!

Moving house.

This is a given for us this year as well. This year, probably in the next 6 months I and Emma will be moving into our own place. That’s right, 2020 is a new house and a marriage!
how scary is this right? And so bloody exciting. We started this week, house searching. Already we are overwhelmed with the number of viewings and searching we have planned this week. I am excited and nervous about the challenges me and Emma will face by living on our own!
You will probably see me blogging about this a lot this year. I warn you now :).

Will 2020 be the year for using my camera more.

Now, this is really an ironic ambition for me this year. Honestly, I am a photo obsessed personality. I constantly have my phone out taking photos. Over the past few years though it’s constantly photos on my phone. Not my actual camera, which I spent so much money on.
It really annoys me that I’ve become so lazy when it comes to my DSLR, especially when it’s one of my prize possessions. So I am planning to get it out of its bag every chance I can.

Last but not least. Happiness.

I know that right now I am so lucky! I have an amazingly supportive partner, a wonderful family, a lovely place to live, amazing friends and so many wonderful things that are happening this year. 2020 is going to be a busy and amazing year for both of us.
Unfortunately, I sometimes allow my depression and anxiety to affect me way too much. So this year I want to try and improve by leaving myself happy messages and notes to find. Reminders. Things like that.
It is so easy for any of us, no matter what our situation, to forget how lucky we really are.

So this is my list of what I want to change (and what will be changing) in 2020.
What is it that you would like for your year? I hope you all reach your goals.

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Confidence building. How to bring confidence into your life for 2020.

What is January other than an opportunity to start afresh! It is the time of year, that we are all praying for a fresh new start. We have the opportunity to leave any negative thoughts, feelings and experiences in 2019 behind.
My biggest new years resolution for this year is CONFIDENCE. One of the biggest things for me, and I know so many others.

we’re officially 5 days into January! the big 2020. I’m currently filled with positive vibes and a hell of a lot of motivation. I can’t wait to see what this year brings. I know a lot of things are happening this year for us both. So, I’m hoping to keep this up all of 2020! this is why confidence is so important to me right now.

So why is confidence so important?

Confidence has a massive impact on our happiness, and mental health. To be honest, though it’s a sucky business, honestly, it is. It comes and goes and sometimes is never there when we really need it.
Some are lucky, their natural persona is full of confidence with no issues, but it is not as easy for all of us.

So what should we be considering in order to make 2020 the most confident year for us all?

There are so many things that we can work on to help make this year go the way that we want it too. Confidence can affect the way we do things in life. I personally allow my anxiety and lack of confidence to win so often.

So today I am talking things to focus on that can help us build our confidence.

Confidence, new year, 2020
Rock it likes its 2020.

Remember your worth

This is something that is so important to each and every one of us, yet it’s also easy to forget. Now listen, You are amazing and you are beautiful. Everything about you is unique! and there is no other person on this planet that is an exact model of you! So take an opportunity to realise how valuable you really are!

Why don’t you try to make a list of things that you love about yourself! and write down exactly why you are an awesome person. Even if it includes things that appear to be silly like you like your hair or something like that. These things aren’t actually silly, there just as important to remember.
Look at the list every time you feel unconfident about yourself! and let the positive vibes work its magic.

Fake it till you make it?

This is a well-known phrase, and I do agree sometimes we do just need to fake it, literally. I am not telling you to fake who you are, definitely not.

Learning to be confident by practising confidence even when you do not feel it. It isn’t impossible, and nothing is. I believe the more you fake it the more you believe in your own confidence. I also believe in growing genuine confidence! that is a key thing. We are just learning how to get there.

Find your thing and pride your self on that.

We all have something, your thing could be anything… For example Blogging, social media, craft, athletics, fashion, makeup or music, It really doesn’t matter what it is. The fact is you have a thing that you are passionate about in life. and that thing makes you awesome! you could be a beginner but you are still rocking it! I know it for sure!

Finding what you are passionate about and using that to help your confidence grow. Whilst showing off your amazing talents. We all have something that not everyone will be into or good at. It is one of the unique traits we have. We can be confident at things that others won’t be.

So whatever it is you have. USE IT. Be confident in what you are doing, and rock it like you want to.

Record your progress.

Remember the last time you looked at photos of yourself from a long time ago? and Sitting there, reminiscing about how life was then to how it is now? Do you remember how good it felt? Seeing change?
Your progression is an amazing feeling and can grow confidence in your work and abilities. You are also giving yourself the opportunity to improve.
Recording your progression in tasks, and life can really help. Being able to see how far you have come, and what you need to do to go further.

whether it is taking photos of your work. or recording data of what you have done! having it led out in front of you can make a massive difference to how you see your own work.

Visualize yourself as the confident person you want to be.

it is no surprise, that sometimes in life we need to just take a break. We should use this time to imagine exactly what it is you want. Growing up and experience new things, impacts our decisions. Its how we choose to act on these decisions that get us to where we want to be.
Feeling unconfident can stop us from moving forward and reaching where we want to be. For example not having the confidence to attend an interview for your dream job.
So what can we do about it?

Take the time to plan what it is you want out of life. Visualise exactly what you want and how you are going to get there. We may still have obstacles to face but we can plan how we are going to deal with these.

Now tell yourself that you can do this! you are confident enough! Focus on your goals and go get them.
I would suggest creating something like a mood board. Focusing on what you want to achieve. You could create a mood board for any of your goals. Organisational skills can help your confidence whilst working on goals because you will feel more confidently prepared to face anything.

Doing things that scare you can build your confidence.

This may sound like an odd thing to say. In other words, why would you naturally put yourself in a position that you don’t want to be in, why? Because for each fear you conquer the adrenaline and positivity that this leads to that proud achievement feeling.
The feeling of you did it, it’s amazing and leads to your confidence blaring. Your confidence will naturally grow by you achieving things that are outside your comfort zone. It could be something small, but regularly finding things that are outside of your comfort you can grow your confidence.

Treat yourself to build your confidence.

Have you ever stood in the mirror having brought yourself new clothing and felt really positive?
Just by treating yourself and looking after your image and mental health, you already feel a bit more confident.
Treating yourself shouldn’t be considered as naughty! It is needed, so you are looking out for yourself.

keeping reasonable goals.

One massive thing that affects each and every one of our confidence levels is a failure. When we fail, we lose confidence in ourself and our abilities. It honestly happens to us all.
We all have aspirations and dreams that we want to reach, but we set our goals too high!

we need to break our dreams down into smaller goals, they need to be achievable. Goals that are too hard to become overwhelming and leads to the risk of becoming overwhelmed. Basically it all gets too much.
we need to set ourselves reasonable goals and that we know are achievable. Protecting our confidence and make our dreams a possibility.

positivity, confidence, positive

like I mentioned at the start of this post, confidence is a tricky and hard business. I promise you that I will be taking these steps this year to increase my own confidence. I believe the more my confidence grows, the more I will grow, mentally.
So, what do you think? do you have any other ideas that will help our confidence grow?

If you liked this post be sure to check out some of my others. And take a minute to follow me on Instagram here.

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