Leaving a toxic relationship is not a mess that I thought I would find myself in. However, it did happen.
It took me a very long time, in-fact years, to realise the mess that I was actually in.
Being in a toxic relationship would usually suggest that you have been suffering some form of emotional abuse. Leaving you vulnerable, you do have the strength to get through this and later on find happiness.
When it comes to leaving a toxic relationship where you have been controlled and manipulated it can be very difficult at the start of your new beginning. It was nearly a full year before communication had stopped fully. Due to the complex situation, we had been in.
The first few days after leaving a toxic relationship are the worst.
I got 2 hours to sleep the night I left my situation. leaving a toxic relationship took me a very long time to do. Being in what was in a state of shock that it finally happened, We both had finally got away.
I sat writing lists of everything I needed to do to get myself fully disconnected from the situation I had been in. and I, of course, was in shock, the fact that it had finally happened, and I had finally got away from living in hell.
The first few days, my phone went constantly, and I felt really overwhelmed. I was finally happy, but being made to feel misery still, by the constant harassment and pleading.
The first few days, are the hardest, but it does get easier to be stronger as you stick your grounds.
Things for you to remember when leaving a toxic relationship:
It isn’t your fault.
The first thing I’d really like you to remember, this isn’t your fault. Your drama isn’t a burden and things will get better. You never choose to be in this situation.
I’m not going to lie. The best thing you could do right now is to block all methods of communication from the ex.
However it isn’t always that easy. The chances are you have forms of tanglement that will need to be discussed civilised.
If you are in a position where you have had to leave a relationship and still remain in civilised communication keep messages short and sweet. As well as on point of what they should be about.
Keep a log.
I can’t stress enough how important this is.
If you are having problems with abuse, threats, harassment from your ex, you need to keep a log of this. If it gets to the point you need police help a log will be really useful to the police to know exactly what has been going on and when.
It can also be a handy reminder to read to remind yourself why you have left, if you ever need too.
Find the right support.
Having the right support around you is so important. Wether it is friends, or family, or even a virtual support group, there are places to find support in all circumstances.
Accepting support and guidance from others may help you build your confidence and attitude towards what has been happening in your life.
Speaking out about your experiences, helps you come to terms with them as well as find amazing support from all different avenues.
You never know. Speaking out about your own experiences could help someone who is going throug similar.
Surround yourself with positivity.
Focus on you.
Its time now more than ever for you to be focusing on your own happiness and self-care.
surround yourself with positive things that comfort you and build yourself back up. It may take time. Your confidence may come back when you at least expect it to.
Eventually, have a laugh about it.
They do say if you don’t laugh your cry.
Everything happens for a reason in life. I believe that more now then ever. If it wasn’t for the situation I was in I wouldn’t of found true love with the most unexpected person in my life. From surviving to being able to complete each other. I know that I can’t regret the past because I would not of my my wife to be, Emma.
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