Hey and a very good morning to you all. Today I want to tell you about an experience that has had a massive impact on my life. Sometimes In life, you end up doing things that you know deep down are just not what you wanna do. There are things that we do in life that we feel like we have no choice but to do them. Even when these are all opportunities for self-improvement. Although I wish we did sometimes life really has no handbook on whether we are making the right choices or not. For myself, one of the biggest decisions I have had to make is whether or not to have corrective leg surgery. Life-changing surgery.
I was born with twisted hips. I don’t actually know that we know what it was that caused my hips to be twisted but I know my parents knew was my hips were twisted from birth. It became apparent when I was a toddler I was walking with my feet faced inwards, and to me that was my natrual way of walking. Some people know this as pigeon toe. It was known from a toddler onwards that I may need corrective leg surgery in my life.
When I reached school age I started to have check ups with the hospital, and was referred for multiple rounds of physiotherapy to see If I could train my legs to walk straight without having to resort to the surgery.
This year I have been focusing on building my confidence a lot, check out my recent post about my confidence journey, here.
When I was a child I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. Before the age of 13 as well. Since it was my life and my body my parents left the desision primarily down to me. It was the decision whether or not to have corrective surgery on my hips. Corrective legs surgery would be having both of my legs broken at the hips by surgeons and set straight using pins.
bullying was such a big part of my decision on having corrective leg surgery.
One of the things that persuaded me with my decision was the bullies. I went to an all-girl school, and I was just an easy target. The girls taunted me for not being able to walk straight. I will never forget the day that I was chased home from school by a group of girls in my year, laughing at the way I was walking, trying to catch me.
One of the girls managed to push me into a bush. The road home was a long straight road, and it felt neverending. I remember getting near to the end of the road and seeing this woman in her garden, I managed to grab her attention. She came to my aid as she got in the way of the girls, giving me a few extra seconds to get across the main road, and into the house where I locked the door straight away behind me. (my parents weren’t impressed, the school said it was a grey area of being something they could deal with/or the police. I didn’t want the police involved).
Another part of the decision to have surgery was the fact I was constantly falling over, I would have scabs on my knees from falling into the gravel (not that it’s has changed much, I still fall over nothing.)
I remember when I made the choice to have my legs surgically corrected I was 100% sure at the time. Even though I knew it was going to be a massive thing.
Having this surgery is a massive part of my past. One I often reflect on.
The first surgery took around 8 hours. 8 hours under the knife, where they reset both of my legs at the same time. Where the operation had taken so long I was then given a blood transfusion due to losing so much blood.
It makes me sad now. Because of that, I can’t give blood myself now.
The recovery from the surgery wasnt the most pleasent. I spent months in a wheelchair and bed. And then again on crutches. My legs had forgotten how to work, where I lost all my muscles from not using them, so I had to learn to walk again. I still remember the day I stoof up from the wheelchair for the first time since the operation. In my head I knew how to walk so I didnt even realise it was going to take so much to be able to return to normality. I think I thought I would be able to just stand up out of the wheelchair I’d been stuck in and just walk… as I said, it really didn’t work like that. 2 surgeries, months of being between crutches and a wheelchair I was finally back on my feet. Literally.
I’ve had problems with my health for a long time, Check out my post where I talk about the effects on my mental health, here.
It may have taken a long time. But I did get there. I still have a few problems with my hips now. Recently, I have been disagnosed with the beginning of atheritus in my hips. Which is a result of the surgeries I had when I was younger. I dont get the pain I’d gone through before, but the odd tingle. And of course not to mention the 2 double scars on each of my hips.
Do I regret having the surgery?
This is a question that is so hard to answer. I wish I had of waited, yes. Having the surgery so young was something that has effected me in many ways. I should be taller than I am but then my body was spending more time healing then growing. I know that my dad does regret letting me go through with the surgery now. However, I don’t think it is something I can actually regret, as it had some positive aspects. I will admit that now though, I do agree that it has had more negative impacts on me than positive. If I could change anything, I would have had the corrective leg surgery a bit later in life.
I started thinking about the operation because it had been a major thing that I had got to experience. When I think about what I have achieved in my life so far, I feel that overcoming this was such a massive achievement, because I did it! I got through it.
To me, it proves something major. Ok, I’m gonna be really cliche here. But if I can get through this. As well as half the other shit I’ve been through I can get through anything.
The past is who makes you who you are today, all the struggles and challenges happen for a reason, to build who you are today. This is just one thing like you will have one, and more things that will build you as a person! these experiences in life we should take the time to value and learn from.