5 Reasons to Love your selfie.

It once truly annoyed me to the core hearing a comment of “I don’t think your shy look at all the selfies you take” HAH! What a thing to say? To be honest, at the time I almost wanted to scream back at them, you clearly don’t know me very well. I started questioning how they got that from a selfie?
I actually have anxiety and a severe lack of self-confidence in reality, and it is something that I am constantly working on! but on the upside, at least I must hide it well.

Anyway, it did get me thinking. In this day and age, all of us take Selfies. Is it wrong to believe that we are benefiting from taking a picture? Not just for the laughs and the giggles.

A reason to grow your confidence with a selfie.

How many pictures did you take, 5? 10? 100? but when we have shot it! oh, it is a fantastic feeling! A good selfie, a decent picture of ourselves. Suddenly our inner confidence is singing! we feel a buzz and we are smiling because we look great! and its Instagram ready! What a reason to smile.
My birthday was Monday, and I went out shopping, came home with some pretty lush new clothes! A new cardigan I received for a gift, Fabulous tops and some really cute new shoes. I had been so excited to start wearing the new things I had, that I automatically was taking pictures to share! my new clothes, the confidence! I wanted to show it off. I felt confident.

selfie

OH! and I got my nose pierced!

Confidence is a big thing for me this year as I continue to challenge myself in order to grow. I wrote a post on confidence-boosting here.

Realise how you have changed

With absolute thousands of photos on my phone, I am often having a flick back through them. Looking at memories, reminiscing on the good times. Seeing how I have changed throughout the years.

If you realise how much you have changed over the years it really can be inspiring. To see how far you have come, how your looks have changed! maybe its a really bad hair picture that you now keep you to remind you never to do it again! I’m sure I am not the only one to think to myself what on earth was I thinking when I tried dying my hair that stupid colour? yet alone the childish choice of tops I’ve had in the past. However, this is totally what I am on about! we improve, grow and change on a daily basis. The importance of remembering our past is so great because the past is what made us who we are today.  

selfie

Taking a selfie is fun!

I am sorry, but taking a photo! adding a filter, maybe one that makes you look like a dog or a man! Yep, These filters exist and they are hilarious!
So many people are on Snapchat these days! the app that is completely designed for having a laugh with your friends.
Again, we’re making memories. The time that So&So texted you a funny video of them as a cat, telling you something in a squeaky voice.

More pictures with our friends.

When I was a child at school I didn’t even own a mobile phone for most of it. When I finally did get a mobile, it was a Nokia 310. Er yeah, one of those brick phones, you could play snake on, but nothing else.
Then when mobiles even did have cameras on them, they were really unclear crap photos.

These days we can take an easy and quick picture of you and your group of friends. In fact, it is the main thing to own a selfie stick for! so you can get as many of your friends or as much of the background in the picture as possible. We now have the ability to capture memories and experiences so much easier. So can you really blame anyone for wanting to record their life?

Finally, a selfie isn’t just a selfie…

A picture says 1000 words! A selfie speaks your personality and emotions all in one.
I really don’t think taking a selfie is as vain as it makes out to be!

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What I am changing in 2020.

As we are now over a week into January I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about what I plan to change this 2020.
This year I am not setting any new year resolutions, just life changes that I want to keep too. We all set New Year’s resolutions but after a while, we seem to forget about them and no longer stick to them. This is why I do not want to call the resolutions this year. This year is all about life goals!

My happy planner this year to keep me on track!

Routine.

Last year my health caused my daily routines to make a major hit. In honesty, I completely lost all concept of what a routine even is or should be. One of my main goals right now especially is to get myself in a routine again. The past few days I have been setting my alarm for 9:30 every morning, which is a start since most days I had not been getting up till the afternoon.
Currently, my iPad and iPhone are acting more of a PA then anything else, as I am finally setting constant reminders, events, shared notes with Emma etc. Apparently this method seems to be working most for me, as I have started planning my day hour by hour.

Confidence.

At the beginning of this month, I posted about bringing confidence into 2020. Which as I said there I plan to step out of my comfort this year and become more confident we’re possible.
For me, I know that this is not going to be easy! But I am determined to try.

Learning to love myself for who I am

My self-employment.

Becoming self-employed is a big deal for me this year. I am finally starting to push myself in many ways to get organised, focused and motivated. 2019 left me with way too many months that I didn’t feel motivated at all, I am promising myself that this is not going to be the case this year.

Getting married. 04.09.2020.

Well, this is less of a goal and more of something that is definitely happening this year. With less than 9 months to go till September now and still so much to do. Our wedding is a massive focus of the year! I am so excited. This year I get to become Mrs Taplin to my beautiful fiancé Emma. One of our many exciting adventures this year.

Healthy lifestyle.

Having said about the wedding, this now fits in pretty well. This year I’m taking a particular interest in my health and lifestyle. Having had a bad year health-wise last year, I am hoping that by the wedding I can get myself into better shape then I am now. There are wedding photos to think about of course!

Moving house.

This is a given for us this year as well. This year, probably in the next 6 months I and Emma will be moving into our own place. That’s right, 2020 is a new house and a marriage!
how scary is this right? And so bloody exciting. We started this week, house searching. Already we are overwhelmed with the number of viewings and searching we have planned this week. I am excited and nervous about the challenges me and Emma will face by living on our own!
You will probably see me blogging about this a lot this year. I warn you now :).

Will 2020 be the year for using my camera more.

Now, this is really an ironic ambition for me this year. Honestly, I am a photo obsessed personality. I constantly have my phone out taking photos. Over the past few years though it’s constantly photos on my phone. Not my actual camera, which I spent so much money on.
It really annoys me that I’ve become so lazy when it comes to my DSLR, especially when it’s one of my prize possessions. So I am planning to get it out of its bag every chance I can.

Last but not least. Happiness.

I know that right now I am so lucky! I have an amazingly supportive partner, a wonderful family, a lovely place to live, amazing friends and so many wonderful things that are happening this year. 2020 is going to be a busy and amazing year for both of us.
Unfortunately, I sometimes allow my depression and anxiety to affect me way too much. So this year I want to try and improve by leaving myself happy messages and notes to find. Reminders. Things like that.
It is so easy for any of us, no matter what our situation, to forget how lucky we really are.

So this is my list of what I want to change (and what will be changing) in 2020.
What is it that you would like for your year? I hope you all reach your goals.

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How to start building your confidence!

What is January other than an opportunity to start afresh! It is the time of year, that we are all praying for a fresh new start. We have the opportunity to leave any negative thoughts, feelings and experiences in 2019 behind.
My biggest new years resolution for this year is CONFIDENCE. One of the biggest things for me, and I know so many others.

we’re officially 5 days into January! the big 2020. I’m currently filled with positive vibes and a hell of a lot of motivation. I can’t wait to see what this year brings. I know a lot of things are happening this year for us both. So, I’m hoping to keep this up all of 2020! this is why confidence is so important to me right now.

So why is confidence so important?

Confidence has a massive impact on our happiness, and mental health. To be honest, though it’s a sucky business, honestly, it is. It comes and goes and sometimes is never there when we really need it.
Some are lucky, their natural persona is full of confidence with no issues, but it is not as easy for all of us.

There are so many things that we can work on to help make this year go the way that we want it too. Confidence can affect the way we do things in life. I personally allow my anxiety and lack of confidence to win so often.

So today I am talking things to focus on that can help us build our confidence.

Remember your worth

This is something that is so important to each and every one of us, yet it’s also easy to forget. Now listen, You are amazing and you are beautiful. Everything about you is unique! and there is no other person on this planet that is an exact model of you! So take an opportunity to realise how valuable you really are!

Why don’t you try to make a list of things that you love about yourself! and write down exactly why you are an awesome person. Even if it includes things that appear to be silly like you like your hair or something like that. These things aren’t actually silly, there just as important to remember.
Look at the list every time you feel unconfident about yourself! and let the positive vibes work its magic.

Fake it till you make it?

This is a well-known phrase, and I do agree sometimes we do just need to fake it, literally. I am not telling you to fake who you are, definitely not.

Learning to be confident by practising confidence even when you do not feel it. It isn’t impossible, and nothing is. I believe the more you fake it the more you believe in your own confidence. I also believe in growing genuine confidence! that is a key thing. We are just learning how to get there.

Find your thing and pride your self on that.

We all have something, your thing could be anything… For example Blogging, social media, craft, athletics, fashion, makeup or music, It really doesn’t matter what it is. The fact is you have a thing that you are passionate about in life. and that thing makes you awesome! you could be a beginner but you are still rocking it! I know it for sure!

Finding what you are passionate about and using that to help your confidence grow. Whilst showing off your amazing talents. We all have something that not everyone will be into or good at. It is one of the unique traits we have. We can be confident at things that others won’t be.

So whatever it is you have. USE IT. Be confident in what you are doing, and rock it like you want to.

Record your progress.

Remember the last time you looked at photos of yourself from a long time ago? and Sitting there, reminiscing about how life was then to how it is now? Do you remember how good it felt? Seeing change?
Your progression is an amazing feeling and can grow confidence in your work and abilities. You are also giving yourself the opportunity to improve.
Recording your progression in tasks, and life can really help. Being able to see how far you have come, and what you need to do to go further.

whether it is taking photos of your work. or recording data of what you have done! having it led out in front of you can make a massive difference to how you see your own work.

Visualize yourself as the confident person you want to be.

it is no surprise, that sometimes in life we need to just take a break. We should use this time to imagine exactly what it is you want. Growing up and experience new things, impacts our decisions. Its how we choose to act on these decisions that get us to where we want to be.
Feeling unconfident can stop us from moving forward and reaching where we want to be. For example not having the confidence to attend an interview for your dream job.
So what can we do about it?

Take the time to plan what it is you want out of life. Visualise exactly what you want and how you are going to get there. We may still have obstacles to face but we can plan how we are going to deal with these.

Now tell yourself that you can do this! you are confident enough! Focus on your goals and go get them.
I would suggest creating something like a mood board. Focusing on what you want to achieve. You could create a mood board for any of your goals. Organisational skills can help your confidence whilst working on goals because you will feel more confidently prepared to face anything.

Doing things that scare you can build your confidence.

This may sound like an odd thing to say. In other words, why would you naturally put yourself in a position that you don’t want to be in, why? Because for each fear you conquer the adrenaline and positivity that this leads to that proud achievement feeling.
The feeling of you did it, it’s amazing and leads to your confidence blaring. Your confidence will naturally grow by you achieving things that are outside your comfort zone. It could be something small, but regularly finding things that are outside of your comfort you can grow your confidence.

Treat yourself to build your confidence.

Have you ever stood in the mirror having brought yourself new clothing and felt really positive?
Just by treating yourself and looking after your image and mental health, you already feel a bit more confident.
Treating yourself shouldn’t be considered as naughty! It is needed, so you are looking out for yourself.

keeping reasonable goals.

One massive thing that affects each and every one of our confidence levels is a failure. When we fail, we lose confidence in ourself and our abilities. It honestly happens to us all.
We all have aspirations and dreams that we want to reach, but we set our goals too high!

we need to break our dreams down into smaller goals, they need to be achievable. Goals that are too hard to become overwhelming and leads to the risk of becoming overwhelmed. Basically it all gets too much.
we need to set ourselves reasonable goals and that we know are achievable. Protecting our confidence and make our dreams a possibility.

positivity, confidence, positive

like I mentioned at the start of this post, confidence is a tricky and hard business. I promise you that I will be taking these steps this year to increase my own confidence. I believe the more my confidence grows, the more I will grow, mentally.
So, what do you think? do you have any other ideas that will help our confidence grow?

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How craft can help your mental health.

I admit it, I am a complete hobby addict. A creative anyway person, but always looking at new crafts, making new things, and making old things pretty. I could sit here and blame Pinterest, as this has become a real enabler for me. Finding so many things that inspire me just by scrolling for hours on that app. Seriously the time flies by and my brain is overwhelmed with ideas.
In the past few months, life has been more than a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions. During this time I have found myself escaping to my craft desk. I like to keep busy playing with my Cricut and spending time in my own world creating different things. I cannot think of anything else that is more therapeutic and fun. Looking back the past few months and looking at all the things I have created lately it hit me. I believe that crafting has a majorly positive impact on my mental health!
By having hobbies connecting to craft in my life, I have had a method of keeping myself winning.

craft
One of my many scrapbooking layouts

Something so simple…

It shouldn’t be a major shock. This is hardly a massive revolution I have had. However, it really has gotten me to think about myself, my health, and my mindstate. I thought I would share my thoughts on how craft can lead to positive mental attitude. So how can starting a craft hobby help your mental health?
Let’s start by remembering that a hobby that falls in any arts and crafts category could be absolutely anything. The possibilities are endless and most people are able to find something that is compatible for themselves. There are so many reasons that by starting a new hobby in the crafting world will have a positive impact on yourself and your mental health

Getting your creative juices flowing.

Just by starting a new creation or project, The creative juices in your brain are forced into action from the get-go. No matter what it is that you are busy with, your craft is the doorway to a million other doors.

Once you start something your mind becomes a mental mind-map of what else you can do. From seeing something in a shop you could use to create something amazing, to taking something old and making it even better than before. You are constantly find something new that you will want to get your hands on, or even find ways to make different ideas collaborate and expand. When you are creating something the world is your oyster. There is so much too do and so little time.

Even when you are out of ideas I suggest a quick trip to Pinterest and within minutes you can be inspired by something and thinking up your own unique way to create a similar project.

craft
So many craft tools, so little space?

Being able to unwind and relax with a craft.

There have been so many times that I have seen someone say ‘Do some colouring’, and say how colouring can be a good distraction from real life and easily therapeutic. It’s not so different from having a craft hobby. With colouring, you are making your choice to pencil, your choice of colour and your decorating something nice. Craft is the same except your probably grabbing the scissors, warming up the hot glue gun and sprinkling glitter and turning an idea into creations.

I have always felt that when I am able to get really engaged in a project it really can have such a positive effect on myself and my stress levels soon shrink.
If you read my previous post on why the Cricut is any crafters best friend, You May remember I mention my love for vinyl projects, like a lot. I have a passion for printing complex and fiddly designs and spend hours weeding the excess vinyl away. It does take time and patience but this can be so relaxing. what could be better than finding a new hobby that can be used as a distraction from reality? Leaving my problems and stress behind. I always call my desk my little craft bubble, because when I am there I am in my own happy place.

craft your expression…

I know that I’ve already mentioned being creative but for me, an expression is a whole different chapter in the book of creativity. Being able to express your feelings creatively is such a powerful and amazing device to consider. There are so many different options that can be inspired by what we are feeling. Pairings, art journals, scrapbooking, drawing and uplifting. just to name a few things that you can use your emotions to empower your creations. From using colours and pictures to reflect your mood, to using tools to manipulate objects and change them to your own envisions. You will be able to find so many new ways to express yourself and your feelings.

Positive reflection.

During the years my crafting experiences have had so many positive impacts on me. I try to think of most projects as a creative challenge. being able to throw yourself into something you can enjoy leads to positive energy. There is something so amazing about that feeling that you get when you are inspired by a new idea when you found a solution to a tricky crafting nightmare, the experiences of learning new things and different ways to do things, and that final moment, Meanwhile the hours that you have spent creating something is finally finished. That feeling of being proud of yourself, for what you have achieved.

craft
Vinyl decor mugs with the Cricut! Crafting bliss.

Craft an awesome finished project … eventually.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had so many of my fair share of unfinished projects and ongoing ones. Projects that have pained me to finish, maybe they took me absolute months to finish. It doesn’t really matter. You can use your mistakes to learn from just like in real life. That feeling you have when you’ve finally got there, I didn’t give up and completed them. That feeling I love, it is such a warm amazing feeling, embrace it. I absolutely feel empowered when I can say I did that. look at what I have done, I created something and that thing, it’s amazing and it’s all down to me. That feeling is pretty epic. It’s so positive.

Do not forget that even if a project that you have completed isn’t perfect. You still did it yourself. You have still created something pretty amazing. Find the positives in what you have achieved.

Have I missed anything out?

I mean crafting is one of my major hobbies and it really does have a special place in my heart and life. When I’m having a down day I can sometimes turn it all around by challenging myself into something new!

As always I would love to hear from you guys, with your opinions. Do you have an experience where you have found something in the craft world that keeps you positive? Do you feel that craft has a good reflection on your mental health? I want to hear! Let me know in the comments. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

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How to Keep yourself organised

I recently wrote a post about what’s on my desk, and as I plan big things for the future. My life has been pretty hectic. I thought that now would be the perfect opportunity to talk about the greatest art of them all. Keeping organised.

Are you like me with a thousand things going on in your mind right this second. Then you have about a hundred different things that you really need to do? No matter how hard you try sometimes it feels like you are never going to catch up! like all that life stuff just seems to get in the way of just everything that you need to do! Maybe you have too many plans and there is just not enough hours in the day. It can literally feel like a rollercoaster that you are stuck on. No brakes, and no way of getting off. Scary hey? but you are not alone. Literally there are thousands of people exactly the same right this minute! Even the most organised can have moments where life is mental as hell and cannot get all their shit together.

Let us be honest. Life really can be a bitch at times. Life is so busy at times that it is hard to get a break from it. Catching up can seem like mission impossible. So what can we do to get ourselves to keep going? and feel like we are heading in the right direction again?

Stop and breathe!

Honestly, this is probably one of the most important steps to getting yourself in a calm and organised. I know that if you are reading this, you are wanting to get organised and productive. You probably feel like you must do it all and do it all now. So we need to learn that it is so important to stop. Take a breath. Don’t panic. Being unorganised and having a lot to do is stressful but if you can just take a minute. Gathering your thoughts will be a massive game-changer for you.
what I mean is, by taking it slow fewer mistakes will happen. Being in control of what it is you have planned. You are going to feel less of a want to give up before you have even begun.

Making Lists!

So now that you are calm and you have taken a break, let’s think it all out! It may sound pretty cliche honestly, but I do believe in to-do lists. Even if they never seem to end. Sit down and recap everything. This helps you work out the most productive way to do things. Anything to be able to save a bit of time. As well as making it possible to remember everything you need to do!.
A brilliant idea would be to keep an active notebook with an ongoing list. You can add to whenever you need, at whatever time. The feeling of crossing an item off the list when it has been completed is quite satisfying.

Also by making a list, you can priorities what actually needs to be down first and what can wait. Meaning you will not need to stress. You will be able to confidently work to deadlines, knowing you have completed your ‘To-Dos’ efficiently. Pretty awesome hey?

Use your phone

Honestly, how many times in life can you say that you do not carry your devices around with us 24/7? We literally have this amazing device that we do so much with. So why not use your smartphone as your personal PA? It is the ideal way of constant reminders and keeping yourself on the ball.

You can sort yourself so that all of your important dates and appointments in your calendar on your phone. Then set your phone to remind you with an alert. I find it really useful as well that you can even share an open calendar with loved ones. So not only are you reminding yourself, you are making sure everyone else is on point too.

I literally have 100 reminders set to go off to remind me at times to do things. That is how I roll! and it works! When something comes up it really does push me to get up and get it sorted. It really is the things that I have not added, I forget.

Organise with Planners

organised with planners
My happy planner (one of them)

A Planner is my favourite purchase of the year. At the moment I am a proud owner of a Mambi Happy Planner, I absolutely love it.
My planner is another creative space for me with all my upcoming adventures and chores written in. I have been using one for 2 years now. As well as a standard planner. I would suggest to anybody, especially anyone who has a love for stationary. I’m thinking of even trying a different style next year and getting the Erin colder life planner.

But don’t get me wrong. You don’t need a fancy planner. A basic one will do just fine as long as you stick to writing everything you basically need too.

Find your Zone

And by Zone, I mean your own space! like a little corner of your room or house, that is completely yours for getting stuff done!
It’s such a good idea since I have my own desk the way that I work has changed so much. I almost never have my laptop on the bed anymore! Being able to happy to sit in my ‘zone’ which I have personalised to be a bit of me. I am able to craft and create for hours at a time without any distractions or excuses. Even if you can’t have an office like set up or anything like that. I would still suggest you have an appropriate space where you can get shit done. It is such an amazing tool!

Sticky notes are your organising friend!

So speaking of sticky things… I have always had a massive love for sticky notes. I can quite easily have them everywhere. Full of reminders, info or just a few doodles and inspirational phrases. Plus leaving messages for yourself on pretty and coloured paper can really brighten up a room.

Those colours <3

Time management!

Another really important factor for the skills of being organised. Time management. Ensuring that you are able to give yourself enough time to complete tasks. Being able to take your time on whatever it is you are doing. is so so important.
Don’t set yourself a task that is going to take you 3 hours, when you only have 1 hour free. That is just setting yourself for failure.
You will be less likely to complete what it is you are doing, and that would just suck wouldn’t it? no one likes too many open projects at one time hey?

So what keeps you organised?

These most important factors that I can think of. Methods that I actually use to keep myself organised and on the right path!
I would always encourage all of my friends to try these ways of getting back on track! and never giving up, you can do whatever you put your mind to.

So guys. What are the methods that you guys would suggest? I would love to hear your comments and suggestions below! so I look forward to hearing from you all.

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May 19’ round-up

Happy June guys! I really can’t believe that we are officially 6 months into the year! where has this year gone, and where was I when it went? I haven’t done a life update in a long time, so this month felt like the perfect time to round up life so far this year.

Still poorly…

Ok so it has now been 4 months, and I have been off work and needing rest the whole time. I finally had surgery, a few days ago. The surgery went well, but I’m still super sore and finding my feet again. I am very lucky to have my Emma look after me, she is gonna need a holiday after this one lol.

It’s definitely been a challenge the last few days. I already suffer from polycystic ovaries and had fears that I may have had something more serious. However, the surgeon was able to open me up to find that it’s my tubes causing the issues. They’ve been sorted for now so fingers crossed that the problem doesn’t come back.

round up

Setting new goals…

I have had so much time to think whilst I have been off work. whilst being stuck doing nothing, I have also had the time to set new goals and ambitions for the future, I really want to start setting my blogging and craft goals a lot higher. Obviously my first goal for now, is getting back on my feet. getting my health sorted, and back to some kind of normality, but after that, I want to get myself more outside. I want to win the fight with my weight loss battle, and start getting the camera out a lot more then I do now! So thats my goals round-up.

Books are becoming a new passion!

I’ve always been a book lover but over the years stopped reading. Recently I’m really into my reading again! and I have a passion for shopping for a good book! In the past month I have brought so many so I officially have a reading list and plan to review some of the books I’ve been reading here on the blog, yay.

 







Wedding plans round up

So it’s now been a few weeks since we paid the deposit on our wedding venue. I am so excited to be having our wedding at the Botleigh Grange Hotel. Eeeeeek. This time next year there will be meer 9 weeks to go. How exciting is that??? Time to just start planning all the little things towards the wedding. Did I mention the weight loss plan right?

I’ve started CBT.

With my health being crap, it has taken a massive toll on my mental health. So I have been referred for CBT therapy. So I’m gonna be doing a review soon on how it’s gone.

With the fact my healths been bad, that is it, my main updates on me for now but I promise to start updating you all on what’s new more regularly.

Check out my post on the Cricut, what it is and why I love it, here.

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Love triangle – The truth & my real story.

We now live in a day and age of woman empowerment and how we should be striving to be a better person. In the past few years, I can finally say that I am so happy. I have a perfect life, with the perfect woman. I feel grateful to say that I have found my fairy tale ending. To be honest, if none of this had happened, we would never have found each other. So Im grateful for this. But life has not always been so perfect. I previously spent years in a love triangle.

love triangle

My Story…

I remember the day it all started as if it was yesterday. My phone went off. It was early and way before my shift at work was due to start. We arranged to meet at the back of my work. This would be my first encounter with her. That morning I went into my sleeping parent’s room and said I needed to leave for work early. I was going to buy some paracetamol for a headache before work. This was my first lie told to my parents, and it wasn’t the last.

A year must of arguments and confusion had gone by before I found out the truth. I wasn’t the only girl in her life. Feeling humiliated, I felt hurt. I was still so young, and very nieve, at the age of 19. It is not something you wanna hear at that point, but really a teen, still a child, whether you can legally drink or not. I felt like I was mature enough to hold my own decisions and I was so wrong. Why didn’t I walk away that day?
Instead, I let myself become more and more involved in a web of lies, debt and complications.

When you are in a relationship you are covered by a cloud of mist, your world is perfect and they love you no matter what, and it does not matter. But the truth of it is. It was all lies. Not just from her. The family and friends. They were all speaking constant lies for her. But why? other than the fact I was being used and hurt in a triangle of love and lies.

Being brave and carrying on in a love triangle.

It took me years and years to understand where I was. Falling deeper and deeper into a web of lies, lying to myself saying that everything was ok, and I was fine, I wasn’t. I wish I had listened to the words from my own family and friends telling me to get out. I can tell you now when you are stuck in a hole, you will not listen, because of the fear. There is so much fear behind everything. I would have saved myself some friendships and been a lot happier from walking away, but it just was not happening. But who knows. Like I said I wouldn’t be where I am today if I did. Instead, I was to busy listening to instructions from her, following whatever she said, being twisted to keep as a dirty little secret, and not understanding or valuing myself or my own worth.

Ripping off the plaster scared me.

I even went away to work. 2 years in a different part of the country. I admit at first this was my way of getting away, escaping. I was gonna stand on my own 2 feet finally. That didn’t work either. Little did I know, my phone would be my worst enemy for being kept, and still controlled. Instead, we ended up living together, a few years later and it only lasted 9 months. it got worse and worse. Until one day the plaster finally got ripped off, and I was finally away.

love triangle

Now that time has passed, I am more than honest with myself, I made so many mistakes and told so many lies but it wasn’t my fault. I know that now. I was being controlled. A narcissist. Wow, that’s a strong word but when I looked up the definition it was all there. All the controlling behaviours, the manipulating, the lies told, and the money-grabbing.
There were so many things happening that shouldn’t have been. I tried dropping her in it so many times because I thought it would set us free. It wasn’t us that I wanted free though. It was just me.

I hope by me telling my story that it really does inspire someone else. Be different, and do not put up with the shit that another person has no right to inflict on you. You don’t deserve the abuse, to be lied to, cheated on and used for nothing more than money. Not like me.

Mental health is so important, How about reading my post on body image here.

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Mental health week – Talking body image

Mental health
Body Image

If you didn’t already know. It’s mental health awareness week. This year’s theme is all about body image. You can read more about the Mental Health Foundation here

What is mental health?

Mental health has always been something that is really close to my heart as I face my own struggles and challenges alongside many of my friends and family. Mental health is defined as a person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being. Did you know that one in four adults in the UK is likely to have a mental health problem at some stage in their lifetime, that’s what the experts say. That’s a lot of people. So not one of us should ever feel that we are alone or no one will understand, there will always be someone that will understand how you are feeling and maybe experiencing the same things.

My battle with negative body image

It is crazy to think that finally in 2019 the world is finally acknowledging that not everyone is a size, zero picture-perfect models. Magazines and companies are finally beginning to embrace our curves and imperfections. No longer do we have to flip through magazines to think we could never get away with their image because it’s being broadcast more and more to embrace yourself.

But let’s face it. It hasn’t always been this way! My school years were a prime example. I grew up with twisted hips which meant I walked differently to everyone else. I needed corrective surgery to set my legs straight, but now when I look back was the surgery more a cosmetic thing? So I could be the norm. Whatever that is?

Not just my legs, I’ve never been stick thin whether and I have always struggled to keep weight off. I get anxiety when I get dressed in the morning because I want to look perfect all the time. It’s so much pressure. Nothing ever feels just right.

Talking is so IMPORTANT.

It is so important that as individuals we talk to each other more than we are now. I am not gonna lie it is not always easy to open up, but it is so worth it. I often can’t bring myself to share my own negativity but one thing I do know, I am not the only one who hates her curves and wishes that I could have better skin. There’s always been so much judgement in this world. It is so easy to let negativity win and then we become depressed, lonely, and affected by the perfect image instead of embracing who we are and what we have. Anyone who tells you that they are 100% happy with their own body image, they are lying. There’s nothing wrong in trying to improve ourselves, buying new clothes and improving the way we look as long as it is you that is happy with yourself and that you are improving for no one other than yourself.

This is me, I am not perfect, I’m not skinny, I love to hide behind my make up. But it is me, and there is only one me.

What we can do to be more body positive?

Remember that not everybody is the same

It is time to stop comparing yourself to other people. Each and every one of us has our whether insecurities but it’s time to embrace yourself and learn to be unique in a positive manner.

acknowledge yourself and any low self-esteem you have

It’s not always easy and like I just said we are all different and we deal with things in different ways but this is such an important step in a journey to being body positive and learning your own self-worth.

Face your biggest critic. Yourself.

My dad has always had a famous quote to me, ‘you are your worst enemy’ and do you know what? he is right. It is natrual that you are your worst critique, so its important to learn to stop being so hard on yourself, and I know myself how hard of a challenge that really is.

Realise how beautiful you really are

Write a list of positive things that you like about yourself and whenever you are feeling low, read your list and remember why you love yourself

Practice self-care

It’s so important that we look after the most important person in your life. Yourself. There is one you and you need to take care of you. whether it is being more healthy to have a little pamper evening, make sure you are doing things for you.

Set yourself reasonable targets

Don’t set yourself goals that you know you are not going to be able to stick too. If you set yourself unrealistic targets then you are allowing yourself opportunities to be negative.

I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings on body image and how this affects you, how do you keep yourself positive when you don’t feel so confident?

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Mental health: How being ill effects me.

I would generally describe my personality as a goal-getter, as a bubbly one, as a person who tries to carry on no matter what. I am always setting new goals and striving to be the best me I can, even when I feel down and panic. That was until the last few months, this really has not been easy. I wanted to share how being ill and having chronic pain has taken a toll on me and my mental health. So this is not going to be one of my usual positive posts! sometimes it doesn’t matter how much energy you put into a feel-good attitude. It doesn’t always work as well as I would like it too.

2 months ago I thought I had a bug. I remember phoning into work that morning feeling awful. I almost had a hangover without even touching a drop of drink. My stomach had started hurting and I was being sick constantly. But after a few days of constant pain and feeling rubbish, led to a trip to the hospital. It is now nearly May, and I have been off work the whole time. I feel chronically bored as well as poorly.

mental health

Constant illness has affected my mental health

I have suffered from bad anxiety over the past few years but the last 2 months have been so much worse, I’m constantly worrying about myself, about my job, about what people are thinking of me, how I look, everything. It is really easy for me to forget how to breathe and be calm. I am so good at getting myself in a tizzy, but then again it wouldn’t even be me if I wasn’t stressing over something.
It feels as if being ill has caused a spiral of mental health issues getting worse, and then it leads to what did I ever do to deserve this? Hmm.
Ironically the joke of a voodoo doll that maybe somewhere is becoming more and less of a joke! I think I better do some research into that hey!

We are very lucky. In this country to have such an amazing NHS that we don’t even pay for. I do wish they would be able to sort me out a lot quicker! There is so much waiting involved when your undergoing investigation for something being wrong with you. The waiting is the draining part. I feel so emotionally drained. I suppose they call it a patient for a reason hey?

My energy is poor, my concentration is pretty nonexistant, and as for enthusiasm, well there is none.

There are plenty of good things in the works for the future and I know that so it is nothing to do with my life or lifestyle, it genuinely is about the constant illness and chronic pain that is making me so much worse. Anxiety is a major ware on someone, and I really do wish that others would also understand how just because someone can look OK, does not mean their mental health is.

Stay motivated with my Monday motivation post here.

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