The truth about the love triangle

We now live in a day and age of woman empowerment and how we should be striving to be a better person. In the past few years, I can finally say that I am so happy, I have a perfect life, with the perfect woman. I feel grateful to say that I have found my fairy tale ending. To be honest, if none of this had happened, we would never have found each other. So Im grateful for this.
But life has not always been so perfect.

I remember the day it all started as if it was yesterday. My phone went off. It was early and way before my shift at work was due to start. We arranged to meet at the back of my work. This would be my first encounter with her. That morning I went into my sleeping parent’s room and said I needed to leave for work early. I was going to buy some paracetamol for a headache before work. This was my first lie told to my parents, and it wasn’t the last.

A year must of arguments and confusion had gone by before I found out the truth. I wasn’t the only girl in her life. I felt humiliated, I felt hurt. I was still so young, and very nieve, at the age of 19. It is not something you wanna hear at that point, but really a teen, still a child, whether you can legally drink or not. I felt like I was mature enough to hold my own decisions and I was so wrong. Why didn’t I walk away that day?
Instead I let myself become more and more involved in a web of lies, debt and complications.

When you are in a relationship you are covered by a cloud of mist, your world is perfect and they love you no matter what, and it does not matter. But the truth of it is. It was all lies. Not just from her. The family and friends. They were all speaking constant lies for her. But why?

It took me years and years to understand where I was. I was falling deeper and deeper into a web of lies, lying to myself saying that everything was ok, and I was fine, I wasn’t. I wish I had listened to the words from my own family and friends telling me to get out. I can tell you now, when your stuck in a hole, you will not listen, because of the fear. There is so much fear behind everything. I would have saved myself some friendships and been a lot happier from walking away, but it just was not happening. But who knows. Like I said I wouldn’t be where I am today if I did. Instead, I was to busy listening to instructions from her, following whatever she said, being twisted to keep as a dirty little secret, and not understanding or valuing myself or my own worth.

I even went away to work. 2 years in a different part of the country. I admit at first this was my way of getting away, escaping. I was gonna stand on my own 2 feet finally. That didn’t work either. Little did I know, my phone would be my worst enemy for being kept, and still controlled. Instead, we ended up living together, a few years later and it only lasted 9 months. it got worse and worse. Until one day the plaster finally got ripped off, and I was finally away.

Now that time has passed, I am more than honest with myself, I made so many mistakes and told so many lies but it wasn’t my fault. I know that now. I was being controlled. A narcissist. Wow, that’s a strong word but when I looked up the definition it was all there. All the controlling behavoiurs, the minipulating, the lies told, and the money grabbing.
There were so many things happening that shouldn’t have been. I tried dropping her in it so many times because I thought it would set us free. It wasn’t us that I wanted free though. It was just me.

I hope by me telling my story that it really does inspire someone else. Be different, and do not put up with the shit that another person has no right to inflict on you. You don’t deserve the abuse, to be lied to, cheated on and used for nothing more than money. Not like me.

6 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Tamara
    May 29, 2019 / 12:30 am

    Hi, thank u for sharing your story. Don’t be too hard on yourself it’s never easily to leave an unhealthy relationship and it does take several attempts, courage and support. However, I am glad you were able to remove yourself to enjoy a healthy relationship which will be even more gratifying, I am a domestic violence advocate and in contact with individuals that are faced with domestic violence daily. Your story will give others hope. The victim is never to be blame but to learn from their decisions. There is always additional information and services about domestic violence in your local community simply google domestic violence programs they offer different services such as counseling, shelter etc.

  2. Avatar
    David William Wise
    May 30, 2019 / 7:14 pm

    Thank you for your honesty.

  3. Avatar
    Bruce Gibbons
    May 31, 2019 / 9:09 pm

    Awesome story and so true of any relationship. It was very brave of you to share your story and your life, I’m glad to know you.

  4. Avatar
    Britt
    June 6, 2019 / 8:15 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you had to go through all that, but I admire your strength. I fully believe that in sharing this, you are going to help others break free from a similar situation!

  5. Avatar
    Chocoviv
    June 25, 2019 / 1:41 am

    HUgs…glad to hear that you have moved on…

    • Avatar
      Anon
      July 5, 2019 / 10:43 pm

      Thank you for sharing. This has helped me see the light ahead and attempt to break free.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *