May 19’ round-up

Happy June guys! I really cant believe that we are officially 6 months in to the year! where has this year gone, and where was I when it went? I haven’t done a life update in a long time, so this month felt like the perfect time.

Still poorly…

Ok so it has now been 4 months, and I have been off work and needing rest the whole time. I finally had surgery, a few days ago. The surgery went well, but I’m still super sore and finding my feet again. I am very lucky to have my Emma look after me, she is gonna need a holiday after this one lol.

It’s definitely been a challenge the last few days. I already suffer with polycystic ovaries and had fears that I may of had something more serious. However the surgeon was able to open me up to find that it’s my tubes causing the issues. They’ve been sorted for now so fingers crossed that the problem doesn’t come back.

Setting new goals…

I have had so much time to think whilst I have been off work. whilst being stuck doing nothing, I have also had the time to set new goals and ambitions for the future, I really want to start setting my blogging and craft goals a lot higher. Obviously my first goal for now, is getting back on my feet. getting my health sorted, and back to some kind of normality, but after that I want to get myself more outside. I want to win the fight with my weight loss battle, and start getting the camera out a-lot more then I do now!

Books are becoming a new passion!

I’ve always been a book lover but over the years stopped reading. Recently Im really into my reading again! and I have a passion for shopping for a good book! In the past month I have brought so many so I officially have a reading list and plan to review some of the books I’ve been reading here on the blog, yay.

 







Wedding plans underway

So it’s now been a few weeks since we paid the deposit on our wedding venue. I am so excited to be having our wedding at the Botleigh Grange Hotel. Eeeeeek. This time next year there will be meer 9 weeks to go. How exciting is that??? Time to just start planning all the little things towards the wedding. I mentioned the weight loss plan right?

I’ve started CBT.

With my health being crap, it has taken a massive toll on my mental health. So I have been referred for CBT therapy. So I’m gonna be doing a review soon on how it’s gone. I

With the fact my healths been bad, that is it, my main updates on me for now but I promise to start updating you all on what’s new more regularly.

27 things I’ve learnt in 27 years

Happy June everyone. I can’t believe we are already there. How has this year gone so fast.

So yesterday I spent the day in the hospital having surgery. So today recovering has been very boring. So I thought I would have a go at writing my own list of what I’ve learnt for how many years I’ve been alive. To be honest I’ve learnt so much in my life already so I’ve focused on the things that are really general.

Life is a serious of challenges. You face a new challenge everyday. If not more then one. 

If you don’t work towards your dreams your never get any closer to them. 

Not everyone is your friend. But a true friend will be there when it matters. 

Nothing in life is free. 

Friends is the best tv show ever. 

I wake up so much quicker with coffee in front of me.

You should never settle for being second best. 

Face your fears. Even if that does mean throwing yourself off a 100 ft tower, for charity of course. 

You don’t need designer labels to be some one. 

Letting go and Learning to love your curves is a big learn.

Education is so valuable. Grab every opportunity with 2 hands. 

Organisation is key. 

Being creative is so much fun. 

Practising something helps you improve. Stop giving up. 

I take too many photos. They are a nightmare to sort.

Having faith can get you through so many hard times. 

Sunflowers make me happy. 

You can never own enough stationary, ever. 

Autumn and spring are the best seasons. 

It’s really easy to be more eco friendly. 

I hate maths. 

Self care is so important for my mental health. 

I hate adulting stuff. 

Your never too old to like childish stuff. 

Being closer to 30, sucks. 

We shouldn’t take our countryside for granted. 

My parents, family, and fiancé are my world. 


			
			

The truth about the love triangle

We now live in a day and age of woman empowerment and how we should be striving to be a better person. In the past few years, I can finally say that I am so happy, I have a perfect life, with the perfect woman. I feel grateful to say that I have found my fairy tale ending. To be honest, if none of this had happened, we would never have found each other. So Im grateful for this.
But life has not always been so perfect.

I remember the day it all started as if it was yesterday. My phone went off. It was early and way before my shift at work was due to start. We arranged to meet at the back of my work. This would be my first encounter with her. That morning I went into my sleeping parent’s room and said I needed to leave for work early. I was going to buy some paracetamol for a headache before work. This was my first lie told to my parents, and it wasn’t the last.

A year must of arguments and confusion had gone by before I found out the truth. I wasn’t the only girl in her life. I felt humiliated, I felt hurt. I was still so young, and very nieve, at the age of 19. It is not something you wanna hear at that point, but really a teen, still a child, whether you can legally drink or not. I felt like I was mature enough to hold my own decisions and I was so wrong. Why didn’t I walk away that day?
Instead I let myself become more and more involved in a web of lies, debt and complications.

When you are in a relationship you are covered by a cloud of mist, your world is perfect and they love you no matter what, and it does not matter. But the truth of it is. It was all lies. Not just from her. The family and friends. They were all speaking constant lies for her. But why?

It took me years and years to understand where I was. I was falling deeper and deeper into a web of lies, lying to myself saying that everything was ok, and I was fine, I wasn’t. I wish I had listened to the words from my own family and friends telling me to get out. I can tell you now, when your stuck in a hole, you will not listen, because of the fear. There is so much fear behind everything. I would have saved myself some friendships and been a lot happier from walking away, but it just was not happening. But who knows. Like I said I wouldn’t be where I am today if I did. Instead, I was to busy listening to instructions from her, following whatever she said, being twisted to keep as a dirty little secret, and not understanding or valuing myself or my own worth.

I even went away to work. 2 years in a different part of the country. I admit at first this was my way of getting away, escaping. I was gonna stand on my own 2 feet finally. That didn’t work either. Little did I know, my phone would be my worst enemy for being kept, and still controlled. Instead, we ended up living together, a few years later and it only lasted 9 months. it got worse and worse. Until one day the plaster finally got ripped off, and I was finally away.

Now that time has passed, I am more than honest with myself, I made so many mistakes and told so many lies but it wasn’t my fault. I know that now. I was being controlled. A narcissist. Wow, that’s a strong word but when I looked up the definition it was all there. All the controlling behavoiurs, the minipulating, the lies told, and the money grabbing.
There were so many things happening that shouldn’t have been. I tried dropping her in it so many times because I thought it would set us free. It wasn’t us that I wanted free though. It was just me.

I hope by me telling my story that it really does inspire someone else. Be different, and do not put up with the shit that another person has no right to inflict on you. You don’t deserve the abuse, to be lied to, cheated on and used for nothing more than money. Not like me.

10 reasons to love April

Since I have been feeling really down with the constant illness and chronic pain lately, I thought it was about time to give some reasons to feel a bit happier, so today I am an irritated girl who is trying to be a little bit more positive this month!
Admittedly it has been a really rubbish time, and it feels like our main adventures out lately are to hospitals and DR’s surgeries until we find out 100% what the heck is up with me… Anyway, I am not moaning I am being positive and since we are still at the beginning of April (pretty much anyway) I wanted to share with you guys 10 reasons why you should appreciate this fabulous month!

Summer is just around the corner!

Fresh start month – I am not 100% sure why, but I have always thought of April as a month of fresh starts, apparently, I am not the only one. we are now 4 months clear of the Christmas season and its a few months of enjoying the sun and the happy season before we prepare for cold winter months again! The first day of spring has now been and its time for a spring clean, mentally aswell.

It’s April Showers – I’m not saying that the fact it is raining a lot is amazing but, does anyone else get the drip, drip drop little April showers song go through their head constantly this month? I do! it is stuck in my head all month every time I hear someone say ‘Oh it’s raining again, April Showers’ … I must watch Bambi. I love Bambi.

The month of yellow – I literally think that one of the first things I associate April with is the colour yellow, and I am really loving this colour right now! The month of yellow, and the month of Daffodils (see what I am saying there?).

Pastels – Ok I may have already mentioned colour just now but this bit is slightly different, I love all pastel colours and there are so many new things in pastel! which I always love pastel colours! Easter spills lots of this because pastel colours do feel very springy! 🙂

Nature is coming back out – The cold winter months will soon be behind us, and already this month we have had some beautiful sunshine filled days. I have especially noticed that on the farm the wildlife is all coming out of its hiding and the deers are back running around the fields at dusk. I absoloutely love playing spot the deer.
It is not just the animals either. I LOVE blossom tree’s, and they always start blossoming this month, they make me super happy.

So Pretty!

New financial year – When life gives you lemons, make lemondae. For some people, I’ve noticed a lot of chat how April is a big money month for them, so everything is a little bit tighter! I know that this is the same for us this month! but oh well. April is the start of the new financial year, so let’s use this as a positive? New year 😉 New me kinda thing.

The clocks went forward – YES! at the end of March, our clocks went forward! now If you love summer like me its more exciting that we are gaining light and sunset is getting later, rather then thinking you lost an hour sleep that night!

Sunset on the farm

Its Chocoholic heaven – It is so hard to say no to some chocolate in April as its nearly Easter, be it a little late this year. Pretty hard to resist when you are going to slimming world! so far we’ve been pretty good! but I can not wait to get my hands on a chocolate egg!

The Sun is coming – Slowly but surely the summer period is just around the corner, and OK so we are not in summer yet! and already I have said why are people wearing shorts already? Its hardly boiling, but the sun is out, the sky is bright and peoples moods are lifting. I love this time of year when you are slowly saying goodbye woolly jumper.

Happiness – Last but not least one thing I love about April is no matter what is going on, or how rubbish and down you are feeling, April seems to bring in some happiness to the year no matter what.

What do you love about April? I would love to hear what makes you smile this month?

35 things that make me happy!

So the best thing about the blogging community has to be being inspired by other amazing bloggers. Like Mxrshmarshmellows blog. Who just created a very similar post. It really made me question what makes me happy and got me thinking.

So I though it would be great to share what makes me happy with you guys.

  1. My Emmy.
  2. Bright colours and lots of pink.
  3. Coffee (I literally just got some llama love vanilla)
  4. Make up. Even when staying in.
  5. Paper craft. Whatever I can get my hands on.
  6. Seeing my friends and family.
  7. Music.
  8. Camembert days.
  9. Happy planners.
  10. Disney anything. Have I mentioned that I love Disney???
  11. Matching socks. Actually cute socks. I mean any socks.
  12. Glitter. A lot of glitter.
  13. Friends. The tv show.
  14. Going to the zoo.
  15. Flowers around me.
  16. Taking lots of photos.
  17. Unicorns
  18. Primark hauls. Probably shopping in general.
  19. Watching musicals.
  20. Receiving happy mail.
  21. Spending days just watching films.
  22. Writing my blog.
  23. Reading books.
  24. My love for all animals.
  25. Pinterest.
  26. Wearing oversized hoodies.
  27. Adult colouring books.
  28. Giving gifts to my favourite people.
  29. Pretty mugs. I’m addicted to mugs.
  30. Daddy daughter days.
  31. Summer and being in the sun.
  32. Adventures to new places.
  33. Overspending on stationary and notebooks.
  34. Blossom trees.
  35. Making new friends.

I’d love to know what makes you happy? Leave a comment below telling me.