Whats the point of hiding behind a computer screen?
Ive been asking myself this for months, its not just a new thought that Ive had. Ive gone through so many phases before of being inspired and setting challenges and projects that never quite pan out.
Im one of those girls with the inspiration of a 5 year old and the achievement of a 90 year old. Its sad that I am finally admitting this.
Its funny because I say about hiding behind a computer screen. Ive recently set most of my profiles to private. By choice? well if you’ve followed any of my blogs or profiles you’d know that it hasn’t been. OH well we won’t go in to that now will we? another day maybe.
Ive been watching the L word. God I love that. The hottest TV series ever made. Lesbians, Sex, Drugs, and art! HA! yes, Art. I was having this conversation with someone a little while ago, We were had been watching the L word at the time and were pretty much on the same episode, and I asked the question, If you could relate to any character on the L word who would it be. Her original answer was Carmen. Which was funny because she had misheard the question I asked and presumed it was what character would you most likely want to fuck? This was a good question! (My answer would of probably been Shane to that… or maybe Alice, or even better combine the 2 and you would pretty much have perfection)… Anyway no, She picked Bette. Professional, knows what she wants, etc… So when the same question was asked to me I knew already. ALICE. Its all about ALICE. Oh and I know exactly why other then the fact that she has a dreamy character role. But in all seriousness I would relate myself to Alice because she has all the same kinda characteristics that I know that I do! … Oh but the difference is, She is successful….. That and its a TV show and actually completely irrelevant.
Now your probably sat there thinking, wtf how crazy can you be. Firstly this show is now old and I am finally just watching the end? ER… where have I been. Yeah I know. but mainly, how can you base yourself on a fictional character, that doesn’t even exist.
But anyway the conversation got me thinking hard about what my life has been like lately and how I have recently lost my drive and what I was going to do to get it back. So somehow I thought to myself Im going to start a series of online journals expressing myself a bit more. Well thats the plan anyway. I don’t know how well this will go since my current depression has a constant hold on me.
Another one that really has my mind going. Girl Boss. Oh yes, that girl has some sassy, buys a 10 dollar jacker and makes a mint back. again we are really heading down the fictional path here.
Its personality and characteristics that really matter.
Its the freedom of inspiration and creative mind power that really gets life going from the start.
So you’ve probably got this far and thought to yourself what is the point of this rant?
The point is life. love. ambition. without them you are no one, and in the next few weeks. I am gonna be finding my Alice again.
…… pretty much sat here on the laptop trying to work out what Im going to be still! Its a tough cookie to crack!
I was watching some silly advert on Facebook which really triggered me off. Little kids being asked what they want to be when they grow up? HELLO Im 24 and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! ….. Now don’t get me wrong, Im not trying to say Im immature and hopeless, but Im sat at work in my new career footstep path of a job, wondering how I even got here, Night work as a security guard, Hell did anyone else see that one lurking in the distance? Im pretty certain that this time last year I was aspiring pre school assistant (Which if anyone care, I DONT MISS THAT CRAP) Oh and I’m now selling younique make up, as a younique presenter….. Do I think Ive found my calling, NO…..